Last night was the ‘Men Tell All’ special for Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season of the Bachelorette. This is when the season’s rejects gather to air their grievances, reveal lingering feelings for the Bachelor/Bachelorette and generally demonstrate why they didn’t make it past week three.
Here are some highlights from the show:
- Chris Harrison announced season two of Bachelor in Paradise – it will (predictably) be a season containing lots of tears and also Claire is back (again!) and everyone loves Jared, apparently
- Tanner really, really thinks he’s the spokesperson for the entire cast of men this season
- Everyone still thinks Ian is an asshole but he regrets the things he said and gets down on one knee to beg for forgiveness from Kaitlyn, the other men, his ma and America – it’s a surprisingly sincere apology
- Corey (no one cares!) thinks some of Kaitlyn’s decisions were in “bad taste” which elicits a ‘boo’ from the audience
- My boyfriend Ben H. (who got sent home last week) won’t let anyone talk shit about Kaitlyn and is probably the next Bachelor
- Apparently Kaitlyn’s actions as the Bachelorette have caused a “national controversy”
- Clint evidently didn’t think Clint’s face was douchey enough so Clint grew a douchey beard and stopped washing his hair apparently and swears that despite the way his relationship with JJ was depicted throughout his time on the show he is 100% straight
- JJ, for his part, claims the “villain shit” was tongue in cheek: remember their line “villain’s gotta vill?” yeah
- Some of the men that no one ever cared about are still pissed that Kaitlyn let Nick come on the show – and now Nick is final two
- Ben. Z is a “mountain of a man” and still hasn’t cried about his mom dying when he was a kid
- Jared is pretty heartbroken (though seems to be doing just fine according to the sneak peak of Bachelor in Paradise) and thanks god he finally shaved his patchy beard at Chris Harrison’s urging
- “Ladies across the country went nuts” for my boyfriend Ben H. because his stupid handsome face and overall sweetness, and he doesn’t seem to be overly-gutted about being dumped by Kaitlyn but he strikes me as pretty breezy and he has a good shot at being the next Bachelor based on the reaction of the audience
- Kaitlyn has been getting a lot of nasty hate on the internet like tweets calling her a slut and a whore – why are people so disgusting???
- The men all stand up to applaud Kaitlyn and show their support against the grossness of these internet comments – seriously, people are gross
- Jared and Ben H. are super polite and cute chatting with Kaitlyn, and she admits it was hard to send them both home because gosh darn it they’re such nice guys
- Kaitlyn politely (she is Canadian after all) calls Jonathan out on complaining about bringing Nick in mid-season by reminding him that he actually voted for Britt to be The Bachelorette – point!
Next Monday night is the finale.