Stop reading now if you don’t want spoilers on week nine (episode ten) of The Bachelorette with Kaitlyn Bristowe (original air date: Monday, July 13, 2015).
Welcome back rose lovers! Jumping right back into the bro war between Shawn and Nick, Shawn is calling Nick “arrogant” and an “asshole” and basically being all ‘everyone hates you on this season, and everyone hated you on Andi’s season.’ Nick counters with his disgust over Shawn’s alleged bragging about being Eskimo brothers with some country singer.
But let’s focus on our Bachelorette for a bit while she’s focuses on my boyfriend Ben. After a great overnight with Nick, it’s time for Kaitlyn to spend the day and night in Galway with adorable Ben and their date kicks off with some picturesque horseback riding. They meet some feisty donkeys and make out in the fields. “Ben is a calming presence,” she gushes. They make out over a picnic in front of a castle. “Kaitlyn is an amazing person who I have fallen in love with,” Ben confesses in his voiceover. Later that evening, Ben (in a never ending parade of handsome sweaters) meets Kaitlyn at the same castle for dinner. He confesses to turning 26 on the show and Kaitlyn, at 30, cutely asks if he thinks of her as an older woman. “I’d be thrilled to be with you!” Age clearly ain’t nothing but a number for these two, because they are super cute and gushy reminiscing about their first meeting and their dates and Kaitlyn thinks he’s “so cute.” He really, really is. The overnight date card arrives, and recalls that Ben had commented a few weeks back that their overnight would involve a “lot of talking.” Yawn. Ben tells Kaitlyn that he doesn’t want to stop looking at her or spending time with her and that he’s falling in love with her. So…that’s a yes then? “Best sleepover ever!” Ben predicts.
The next morning finds Ben and Kaitlyn with their arms around each other gazing out over the grounds. Ben departs (oh my god he’s wearing a backpack – I die), and Kaitlyn admits that she didn’t expect to be falling in love with Ben but she is.
The last of the overnight dates is with Shawn. Kaitlyn arrives bearing a gift: a pink golf shirt. They head out on the links with Kaitlyn looking ridiculously awesome in golf attire. Shawn is in to the golfing date, because it’s “something you can do until you’re old and gray” and he wants to be with Kaitlyn forever and ever y’all. As the winner of the golf game, Kaitlyn proposes a game of truth or dare and dares Shawn to streak naked across the golf course. As he de-pants, it’s revealed that Shawn is wearing long johns under his golf pants. “Hey, it’s a tough laundry day,” he explains. Sweet Fancy Moses that man is well built. His junk is blurred by the traditional Bachelor/Bachelorette ‘black box of bits hiding ‘while he runs around in the buff sporting a kicky pair of blue socks.
Over dinner, Kaitlyn and Shawn can’t stop smiling and laughing and their chemistry is off the charts. Kaitlyn addresses the Nick v Shawn “beef” and Shawn doesn’t hold back, basically calling Nick a complete assclown. Shawn then tells Kaitlyn that he “won’t lose any sleep” if she ends up with Nick, because that means they simply weren’t meant to be. Kaitlyn gets where he’s coming from, but conveys that she would prefer to continue the conversation “off-camera.” When the overnight date card arrives, they’re both pretty much ‘duh, of COURSE.’ Sadly that’s really all we get to see. The next shot is of Kaitlyn saying bye to Shawn the next morning and then him running into Nick who wants to chat and “respond to some of the accusations” that Shawn hurtled at him a few days prior. “If I hear my name come out of your mouth one more time to Kaitlyn it’s not going to be pretty,” he practically spits at Nick. He also calls Nick a “smooth-talker” who just “likes to hear himself talk.” They talk over each other for a bit and it ends with Shawn telling Nick to “get the fuck out of my place right now.”
Before the next rose ceremony, host Chris Harrison sits down for some therapy/real talk with our Bachelorette. It boils down to this: Shawn is kinda jealous but fun (and hot). Nick is a great combination of all the qualities she likes but maybe there’s some doubt as to whether they could be long-term. And sweetheart Ben is “so good-looking” and would “make a great husband.” Which two will make it to hometown dates? A very emotional Kaitlyn (she has to step away from the ceremony for a bit) says she has to follow her heart and hopes she’s not making a mistake. And we can practically see her heart given that she’s wearing the shit out of the lowest of low cut red dresses. With that said, she keeps Shawn and Nick and sends my boyfriend Ben home.
Leaving Nick and Shawn to hate each other in awkward silence, Kaitlyn walks Ben out and grips the crap out of his hand and admits that she’s frustrated that she’s not the woman for him. Ben wishes he could spend more time with Kaitlyn, and is super sweet telling her it “won’t be easy” not seeing her. OH MY GOD BEN YOU’RE JUST THE CUTEST. Yes, I’m shouting. His parting words to Kaitlyn are to tell her how great she looks and that he’ll miss her. In the limo of broken dreams, Ben says that him and Kaitlyn could have had something great, and that he’s been changed by meeting her. Changed like move to Toronto and attach your face to my face for about 50 years? Just a suggestion Ben. Meanwhile, Nick’s voice-over talks about once again being one of the final two men on The Bachelorette. Kaitlyn is still shaken up from having to say bye to Ben and she isn’t super thrilled to have to re-join Shawn and Nick who’s hatred for one another is palpable. She parts shortly thereafter, leaving Shawn and Nick to swirl their wine and seethe.
And then there were two.
From the beautiful landscapes of Ireland to…well…Utah. Still nice! Instead of going to their family homes, Shawn and Nick’s families will be brought to Utah to meet Kaitlyn.
Kaitlyn meets up with Nick first (he’s grown a beard and cut his hair – me likey!), and he tells her that from the time they first started talking (via text and then on the phone, before he joined the show) she was the best part of his day. Speaking of the last time Nick found himself in final two territory, he gets emotional telling Kaitlyn he has “no reservations” about them and admits to being “totally in love.”
Nick’s family is preparing for Bachelorette: 2.0. They don’t want to see Nick be “blindsided” again and have to go through another heartbreak. They actually cry talking about it, while Nick and Kaitlyn approach the door with flowers and dry heaving. So much dry heaving. Nick reveals that he’s final two after they sort of joke about thinking he was crazy for crashing the Bachelorette in New York. But look, ma, it worked out (at least up to this point). They dance the Carlton dance from Fresh Prince and yuk it up with the fam.
Nick’s sister Maria is the first to speak to Kaitlyn one-on-one. She asks the Bachelorette how her feelings for Nick are different for what she felt for Chris Soules. Kaitlyn admits that Nick isn’t at all who she thought he was but emphasizes that her feelings are strong. Maria finds Kaitlyn to be very “real” and “authentic”. Nick’s brothers share his affinity for mumble talking. Youngest sister Bella asks the real tough questions like “what is Vancouver like?” and “do you love Nick?” Kaitlyn tells Bella that Nick makes her happy and she feels all the good feelings. Bella says she can picture Kaitlyn as her sister-in-law. Precious! Chatting with Nick’s mom, Kaitlyn gushes about their shared “goofy” side and great conversations. Mom says that he must’ve seen something super special in Kaitlyn to put himself through the experience of being on the show a second time. She is also, understandably, very worried that Nick will once again end up broken-hearted. Nick chats with his mom and says he’s “99% confident” that Kaitlyn loves him. He tears up when saying that he really likes Kaitlyn. Nick’s mom is comforted by how she sees Kaitlyn look at him (and says she didn’t see the same with Andi!) and realizes that the next time she sees Nick he’ll either be on cloud nine or…not on cloud nine, I suppose. When Kaitlyn and Nick recap the day she says she feels even closer to him now that she’s met his family. Then there’s this exchange:
Nick: I love you
Nick: With all my heart…we should make babies some day.
Then they make out more than anyone probably ever has in the history of Utah.
Next up is the Shawn fam jam. He’s excited to tell his possible future wife that he loves her and for her to be grilled by his sisters (and aunt and father, but his mother couldn’t make it). Kaitlyn is all “sisters love me” since she has one blood sister and six (!) step-sisters. Shawn tells the family that it’s down to the final two men, instead of the typical hometown final four. Kaitlyn reveals that she fell for Shawn from the moment he got out of the limo on night one, and everything is easy and light with the family. Lots of laughter, which is good because Shawn can’t be with someone who can’t roll with his kinsfolk. Kaitlyn charms Shawn’s sisters and both feel pretty strongly that Shawn and Kaitlyn will end up engaged. Dad is a bit of a skeptic but Shawn is adamant that he’s changed through this experience and ultimately he gets his dad’s blessing. When they’re alone again, Shawn tells Kaitlyn that he’s not just falling in love with her, he IS in love with her. Kaitlyn looks equally thrilled and terrified, and later admits that she’s gutted to have such strong feelings for both men. Shawn is mostly bummed that Kaitlyn didn’t tell him she loved him back. In her private on-camera interview, Kaitlyn breaks down because she’s feeling all the feelings.
Next week is Men Tell All! I can’t wait to see the JJ – Clint reunion!