Stop reading now if you don’t want spoilers on week eight (episode nine) of The Bachelorette with Kaitlyn Bristowe (original air date: Monday, July 6, 2015).
Welcome back rose lovers! It’s getting down to the wire and the action remains in Killarney, Ireland, where my boyfriend Ben. H receives the first solo date card of the week. After a short boat ride they play hide and seek and sit on a feelings bench to talk about what makes someone husband/wife material. Ben H. is a big fan of Kaitlyn’s hotness, telling her that when it comes to physical attraction “you kill that one, babe.” Cute. On her end, Kaitlyn is feeling all the feelings she should be feeling in this game called love. On the evening portion of their date, Kaitlyn and Ben H. warm up by a fireplace and drink Irish coffee and are generally just aw shucks adorable together. Time for a fireside confession: Ben H. fears he is unlovable. “I feel like I could, and I am, falling in love with you,” Kaitlyn reassures him, and Ben responds in kind. When the conversation turns to the pending overnight dates, Ben emphasizes that should he move forward to overnight dates, he won’t “focus” on the physical aspects of what the Fantasy Suite dates typically entail. Kaitlyn begins to suspect that Ben is a virgin, and asks him outright.
Back on their date, my boyfriend Ben H. confirms he is not a virgin, but looks forward to “talking all night.”
The next day, Kaitlyn and three members of her dwindling man harem embark on a scenic group date where. She is quickly pulled away by Shawn who is thinking a lot about where things ended with them last week (with Kaitlyn suggesting they ‘take a step back’). After talking about how weird it was that they didn’t kiss the last time they were together and then kissing because not kissing is stupid, Kaitlyn decides that now is the time to confess that she slept with Nick. Luckily, she is interrupted by her “intimate” partner in crime Nick. Shawn departs feeling like they are back on track.
Kaitlyn wants to get a read on Nick, mumcling “how do you feel about that?” in reference to their post-date coitus. “I feel good about it,” Nick enthuses, laughing. That seems to ease some of Kaitlyn’s anxiety. “You know I’m falling in love with you,” Nick mumbles back. Seriously these two need subtitles. Meanwhile, Joe and Shawn are chatting and Shawn’s asking Joe if he’s going to “get in there” and try to grab Kaitlyn for some along time and Joe points out that Shawn has Kaitlyn’s lipgloss on her moustache. A-W-K-W-A-R-D. Since Shawn has been pouty for weeks about Kaitlyn dating other dudes, clearly he does not view Joe as any sort of threat and therefore is all ‘go for it bro!’
Finally Joe gets some private time with our Bachelorette, where he confirms that he’s ready to get engaged. “I have a really great time with you,” he assures Kaitlyn. I honestly can’t remember really seeing them interact that much this season. After gushing that he could spend the next 60 years kissing her and be the happiest man on earth Joe says he’s in love with her. Oh god her face, Joe – LOOK AT HER FACE! Kaitlyn can barely make eye contact. Finally she decides to be “brutally honest,” telling Joe that she’s not on the same page as him and though she can’t “imagine saying bye” to him, that is precisely what she’s going to do. It’s as if she’s flicked Joe’s nice guy switch. He immediately shuts down and is all “cool”, “fine,” whatever. “It’s your decision,” he says. “No worries man.” “Can you give me a hug or something?” Kaitlyn pleads, and Joe responds “I guess.” Kaitlyn walks away and Joe stalks off into the woods. Perhaps he can go join Chris ‘Cupcake’ on that cliff of broken hearts.
Back on the world’s smallest bench, Nick and Shawn are speculating on why the conversation between Kaitlyn and Joe is taking so long, and both are pretty sure it’s because Joe’s getting the boot. Kaitlyn finally returns and admits that Joe told her that he was falling in love with her and she didn’t feel the same way so she ended it, but isn’t ready to hand out the date rose. She tells Nick that she’ll see him at the rose ceremony, but tells Shawn she’ll see him later. Is it finally sex confession time?
Shawn just keeps “falling harder and harder” for Kaitlyn, and is stoked to be able to continue on their date alone. “I’m just so happy to be here with you but I do have something on my mind…” Kaitlyn hedges. She tells Shawn that she just wants to be honest with him and she knows how important trust is to him and then tells Shawn that after her date with Nick they went back to her room and “it went too far.” “It’s hard for me to admit it but we had sex,” she adds. Shawn looks understandably gutted but keeps his composure, eventually asking “do you regret it?” “I feel guilt,” she admits. Shawn decides to regroup in the bathroom (for his sake I hope there’s whiskey in there) while Kaitlyn silently panics on the couch. This would be an amazing time for us to learn that this bathroom has an affable attendant named Liam who’s all about doling out life lessons and hand towels.
Nick is complaining about his lack of alone time with Kaitlyn this week to Jared and Nick. There’s fractions and shit. Seems a bit in poor taste to moan about this to your girlfriend’s other boyfriends while meanwhile she is risking losing her favourite dude by confessing that she touched you in your bathing suit area.
Shawn returns to the confession couch and thanks Kaitlyn for being open and honest with him. He admits to being upset about Kaitlyn sleeping with Nick but doesn’t want to make this about Nick. “I’m just going to man up and deal with it,” Shawn says, and tells Kaitlyn that he wants to be with her and “I think you’re worth it.” Impressive! Shawn’s face is made of handsome and his awesome abs are apparently made of (grudging) forgiveness. Once Shawn returns to the bro-tel, him and Nick have a confidence-off, both saying they feel pretty good about their chances of getting a rose this week.
As the men wait around for the COCKtail party to begin, Shawn reveals in his private interview that he’s got some questions for Kaitlyn and depending on the answers he receives he may need to walk away or – gasp! – turn down a rose. Chris Harrison arrives to blow that out of the water, announcing that Kaitlyn has made up her mind and they will be skipping straight to the rose ceremony.
Kaitlyn, in a disco ball dress, offers Shawn the first rose, but he does not immediately accept it and instead asks to speak to Kaitlyn alone. She looks about ready to puke. “I did a lot of thinking last night,” Shawn starts in. “I understand that there are other connections and other relationships and I don’t want to be naïve…I don’t understand why him,” Shawn questions Kaitlyn. Fair! Shawn is not a fan of Nick, and he doesn’t understand why Kaitlyn would potentially jeopardize their connection. “I am here to explore other relationships because at the end of this I will never explore another relationship,” Kaitlyn states. She also reiterates that conveying to Shawn that he was “it” a few weeks back was a mistake. “I’m not sitting here being ashamed of myself,” she says, adding “you need to let me figure things out for myself.” When asked if she’s still someone Shawn could trust, we don’t see Shawn’s response and instead we return to the rose ceremony where Shawn accepts Kaitlyn’s rose with an “absolutely!”
It’s down to Nick and Jared, and ultimately Jared is left rose-less. Ah poop. Jared is sweet and funny, and I saw him making it to the final three over Ben H. A true gentleman, Jared offers Kaitlyn his coat when they walk outside to say their goodbyes. “I cannot believe the moments that we’ve shared,” Kaitlyn offers by way of explanation. “I’m really glad I met you,” he tells her, adding that she’ll always have a special place in his heart. “Just make sure you find the man of your dreams because you deserve it,” Jared says, making Kaitlyn cry. He boards the sad sack car to lonely town and has a breakdown of his own. Later, Kaitlyn cries some more over Jared’s general awesomeness. But, she says that she wasn’t feeling as strongly about their connection as the one she has with Nick, Shawn and (presumably) Ben.
Jared and his sculpted eyebrows for next Bachelor anyone?
The next day, Kaitlyn’s final three are packing for Cork. Shawn no longer calls Nick by name, referring to him instead as “the other guy.” Ben H. is so cute packing up his stuff that I don’t actually listen to a thing he has to say. Nick and his never-ending parade of attractive sweaters greet Kaitlyn with an exuberant kiss while her voiceover hopes that their connection isn’t just physical. Nick and Kaitlyn wander into a cathedral where he regales her with the cute story about how his parents were introduced in a church and engaged six months later, which comforts Kaitlyn that their connection is equally as “spiritual” as it is physical. Afterwards, and over whiskey (of course), they giggle and make out and talk about their first kisses. Their connection and “energy” is undeniable. They’re joined by some locals who talk about “the craic,” which means having a good time, and declare that the secret to a happy marriage is trust. Nick toasts the bar to having the “craic” and to happiness and love.
Back at the bro-tel, Shawn is all kinds of grossed out about “that other guy” spending time with Kaitlyn and generally just “getting in the way.”
Kaitlyn and Nick spend the evening portion of their date in jail. A converted jail that is decorated with blankets and a shit ton of lanterns. “I go out of my way to see the good in people,” Nick announces, but adds that he can’t respect a dude who brags about being Eskimo brothers with a country singer. Huh? Turns out Nick is referring to Shawn, who I guess banged some girl the same night as some country singer or something? Well, he is from Nashville so I’m sure country singers are in abundance there and perhaps this is a common occurrence. Weird that Nick would even bring it up when, until now, he’s done a fairly good job of at least pretending not to hate Shawn. It hasn’t gone unnoticed by Kaitlyn that Nick and Shawn only have bad things to say about one another, and she chalks it up to jealousy.
Nick apologizes for “showing up late” but adds that he’s not sorry for falling in love with Kaitlyn and taking a chance. “The only thing that’s keeping me breathing in this world is knowing why I’m here,” he says, making Kaitlyn super emotional. Kaitlyn presents Nick with the invitation to forego their individual rooms and stay together as a couple in the Fantasy Suite. Nick accepts, saying that he wants Kaitlyn to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up. She tricks him for a bit into thinking their Fantasy Suite is a jail cell. They eventually head to their real room for the evening, and Nick once again mumbles into his fingers about how falling in love with her has been super fun. They make out in bed and we return the next morning to find them in PJs talking about the great debate: bacon v. ham and there’s a shout out to Canadian bacon. Nick, shirtless and sporting a bunch of bracelets, sips coffee and talks about being allergic to dogs. Kaitlyn says that they spent the night talking and eating chocolate. They kiss goodbye and Nick takes off.
Shawn calls the front desk asking for Nick’s room number, and the last thing we see is Shawn showing up at Nick’s room saying he needs to get something off his chest. Shawn tells Nick he believes Nick has ulterior motives, and that if Kaitlyn saw in Nick what they see he would’ve been sent packing weeks ago. “You’re manipulative, you’re arrogant,” Shawn states, and Nick counters that he could say the same about him. Shawn calls Nick an asshole and says that it seems that Nick is just here to change his reputation that he earned while on Andi’s season. Whoa. We’ll have to see how the rest of that confrontation goes next week.
And that’s where we leave off for the week!