RECAP: The Bachelor (Chris) – Week Seven (Part 2)

Stop reading now if you don’t want spoilers on episode 7 (Part 2) of Chris Soules’ season of The Bachelor (original air date: Monday, February 16, 2015).

Let’s jump right into the second half of The Bachelor’s two-night special. Sunday night’s episode ended with the ladies speculating the end for Britt, after a pouty meltdown on a group date with Carly and Kaitlyn. Host Chris Harrison promises that the “drama in Iowa continues.” We pick up the action with Chris strolling the streets of Des Moines and thinking about how awkward Britt made things after she didn’t get the date rose. Chris and Becca meet up for their date at the loft where he is staying. He tells her that things feel “real” when they are together. Real…kinda boring? Becca opens up about the fact that she’s never been in love before, despite having been in an on-and-off relationship for four years. All sex free years, remember. She admits that she wouldn’t necessarily accept if he proposed today (good!). Don’t worry honey, a proposal is, like, three whole weeks away. That’s enough time, right? Ha. Chris and Becca head to the roof to watch the sunset and do that awkward peck kissing thing they do.

Back at the hotel, the gals are gossiping about Britt’s disastrous outburst the night before and she drops a bomb: she’s packed her bags and is thinking of leaving before the rose ceremony the next night. For some reason the women start to talk her out of it, and she cries, but Carly thinks it’s all for show and calls Britt out on her wishy-washyness (not a word) because Carly doesn’t believe for a second that Britt is bailing. Whitney muses that Britt is cracking because for the first time since night one she isn’t getting exactly what she wants, and what she wants is for Chris to always be “fighting for her.”

The following evening finds the ladies preparing for the final rose ceremony before hometown date week. Jade is preparing to reveal that she posed for Playboy while Britt says she is gearing up to leave before the ceremony, because she’s not sure if she’s ready for Chris to meet her family. She is mentally preparing to say goodbye and get “closure.” The other women are beyond convinced that this ‘I’m leaving’ thing is all a sherade and that Britt is simply setting up a scenario where she says she’s leaving in the hopes that Chris will beg her to stay. Host Chris Harrison arrives and makes a shocking announcement: there will be no cocktail party beforehand, so instead the remaining women head straight to the rose ceremony.

Chris launches into his (horrible, as usual) pre-elimination speech and Britt interrupts, asking to speak to him privately. “She wants him to beg, and if not she’s leaving him,” Jade predicts. Once she has Chris alone, Britt apologizes for her behaviour on the group date while back inside the other woman try to not vomit in frustration. “I think she could convince him,” Kaitlyn grudgingly admits. Chris tells Britt that she put him in a “tough position” and reveals that some of the other women have questioned her honesty, particularly about her reaction to his hometown of Arlington. Britt wants to know from whom he heard that she wasn’t being honest, and WAS IT CARLY? When he asks if that’s important Britt insists that it is. Things get a bit heated and Chris has clearly had enough. He stands up and they hug and I have no idea what’s going on and then he’s walking Britt out the door and they say goodbye. Insert screeching tire sound here. Chris looks totally gutted and Britt sits on a curb sobbing, while inside the atmosphere is just short of a mardi gras parade.
Chris returns to his ladies and confirms that he has sent Britt home, and he thanks them (translation: Carly) for helping confirm the doubts he had about Britt before handing out roses. Alas, Carly is left without a rose and is therefore sent packing. The girls are all genuinely sad to see Carly go, probs because she’s the funny one and she looks like she’d be amazing at French-braiding hair. Also, she was sort of the buffer – as long as Carly was around there was a spare woman who was always up on the chopping block. And now the buffer has been sent home crying in a limo and things are getting real.
In what may end up being the shortest season of The Bachelor ever, we’re down to four women‎ and it’s time for hometown dates. First up is Becca in Louisiana. Our last virgin standing is a smitten kitten when it comes to Chris, who also happens to be the first man she has brought home to meet her folks. Chris is mildly freaked but Becca puts his mind at ease. “I can only see my feelings progressing” she gushes. Chris is introduced to Becca’s large and attractive family and her sister confides in Chris that Becca isn’t usually an “intimate” or “affectionate” person. ‎This is a bit of a red flag for Chris. After all, living on a farm in isolated Arlington leaves plenty of time for boning, so he’d likely prefer a woman who’s into some PDA. When talking to Becca’s lovely mom, she says she has never seen Becca be so affectionate with a man. Remember: Chris doesn’t know Becca is a virgin. Becca’s sister Katie reminds her that fantasy suite dates are around the corner. Thanks Captain Obvious! “It would be really great to be the guy that Becca has been waiting for,” Chris declares. After family time, Chris whisks Becca away to a nearby state fair so they can kiss on a ferris wheel. Finally a kiss that lasts longer than two seconds! Becca thinks that maybe possibly maybe this could be the night she would look back on and think that this is when she started to maybe fall in love. Maybe.
‎Next up Chris heads to Chicago to visit fertility nurse and world’s perkiest woman, Whitney. After a pretty adorable one-on-one date in Des Moines, the stakes are high on this hometown date. Whitney kicks things off by teasing Chris that they are off to “make a baby,” so they head to her work and change into scrubs. She walks Chris through a fertilization and gosh Whitney is so cute showing Chris her work. There’s an obligatory peak into the room where the “magic happens.” Chris notices the Playboys (probs not the one with Jade, this place seems like they keep their subscription up-to-date) that are in the room to help with the aforementioned “magic.” I appreciate that Whitney keeps the joke going for like 5 minutes too long.
‎Later that day, Chris asks Whitney who, given that her father isn’t in her life and her mom passed away a few years back, would be the person Chris would need to get ‘permission’ from should things progress. She says it’s her sister. During the ‘meet the family’ portion of the evening, Whitney’s uncle John pulls Chris aside for a talk, and Chris emphasizes their compatibility. Her sister wonders if living in Arlington is really feasible, and Whitney desperately wants her sister to give her approval but it doesn’t appear that things will go smoothly if Chris were to ask. After all, there are four other women left in play. Chris asks for her sister’s blessing and she answers honestly that she doesn’t like the idea of her sister being one of four so “call me when you have that (certainty) for her.” Fair enough! I wonder if Chris requested similar permission from all of the families and those parts were edited out or if he really only asked Whitney’s family? Hmm.
‎When Whitney questions Chris about it later she is so worried that the lack of a family blessing will work against her. He circles around the topic a bit and says just enough to take Whitney’s panic level from an eight to a four, and then Whitney shows him a bottle of wine from Napa that she had been saving to share with the man she planned to marry. She cries and tells Chris that she’s fallen in love with him and then they suck face and drink the aspirational wine.  Chris declares that Whitney “brings out the best in me.” I’m just impressed that she held on to wine for that long. Wine doesn’t last long in my apartment. I’ll always find some excuse to partake, like “hey it’s Monday” or “this wine would pair perfectly with this bucket of chicken.” It physically hurt me not to be able to bring wine home from my November visit to Napa. I had to pick between carry-on luggage and being able to bring wine back. The connecting flights forced my hand, and carry-on luggage won out. Boo.
For their date, Canadian gal Kaitlyn‎ meets Chris behind some dumpsters in Phoenix. Perfect! Phoenix is where her family “winters” when they’re not in Alberta. She resides in Vancouver. They head into a recording studio to record a love rap, and the vibe is cute and playful. ‎Chris is as good at rapping as he is at speeches. So, not good. At all. “She would make life fun,” he says, eyes aglow. Chris is introduced to Kaitlyn’s parents and their respective spouses. It’s nice to see a family where the parents are divorced and remarried but can all hang out together and meet some guy from TV who has spent roughly eight hours with their daughter and might be her fiance in a hot minute. Kaitlyn can’t stop smiling and she gushes to her mom that she’s “so excited” about Chris. “I know I need to be in love (to move) and I see huge potential.” She later leads Chris to a billboard sign that reads Kaitlyn ♥ Chris and it’s a super sweet moment.
Randomly, I miss Britt. It’s weird that she’s not around, right? Totally didn’t expect her to leave this week.
Chris meets Jade in Nebraska (though she makes her home in LA these days) and she’s worried about her pending Playboy confession. Chris is introduced to Jade’s mom, dad and future step-mom (everyone is so civilized!), and he gifts Jade a letter jacket. Something about sports? Who cares. As an aside: it drives me nuts when people wear shoes in the home. Chris talks to Jade’s dad Laren about appreciating Jade’s values, and says he’s falling in love with her. Laren brings up Jade’s ex-boyfriends (why?)  saying that she can be “too much” for some men. He also hints that there’s another side to Jade, and the comment doesn’t go unnoticed by Chris. I’m guessing that side is ass-up? Jade’s brother Zach refers to her as a “wild mustang” and “free spirit.” So… maybe not the sort of girl looking to settle down and move to Iowa. When Jade chats alone with her dad, he gets emotional telling her that he just hopes she can settle down with a man who likes her for who she is. Translation: I love you and you deserve the best and you’re great but please for the love of god keep your clothes on.
The duo make their way to Chris’ hotel, and she launches into her confession: “There are some things about me that would surprise you…” Jade finally reveals her Playboy past and 15 muscles in Chris’s face strain to not react. She then, inexplicably, offers to show him some of the photos and Chris let’s out a choked laugh and agrees to see them. Jade brings the photos up on her laptop (convenient that she brought that along) and Chris is treated to full frontal Jade. He giggles nervously and practically chews his hand off. Oh there’s a behind-the-scenes video too. In his private on-camera interview, Chris comments that “Jade seemed like a very innocent, somewhat shy girl. I would’ve never expected something like this to be part of her past.” He tells Jade that “something like that” wouldn’t make him think any differently of her. Hey, she did make that cute speech before about how Chris shouldn’t feel ashamed about loving Arlington, so let’s just call them even? “I know who you are as a person,” he assures her. “If she’s my soul mate I’ll stand behind her,” Chris declares. Cue 500,000 Google image searches for “Jade Elizabeth Playboy”.  But hey, who are we to judge? Everyone goes a little “wild mustang” when they move away from their childhood home. I bought a whimsical set of salt and pepper shakers and a stereo system from Coscto. I get it.
With the hometown dates complete, ‎it’s time for another rose ceremony. It’s between Jade and Becca for the last rose. Ultimately, Jade is sent packing which actually isn’t that shocking if you’ve been paying attention. During week one on the red carpet host Chris Harrison said a virgin ended up in the fantasy suite so we knew Becca was going to make it to the final three. I honestly thought Chris would keep Jade if only to prove how non-judgmental he was, but honestly his connection is stronger with the rest of the women. He walks Jade out and says things have moved faster with all the other girls and that’s “all there is to it.” Jade cries but handles herself so well. “You’ve been a gift to me just to have you in my life” he tells her. I am going to let the white shoes with a black dress slide because Jade is a super sweet chick. Chris watches her being driven away in the sad gal limo, crying. Probs because he knows what she looks like naked and won’t get to see it again. In the limo, Jade is crying prettily and says “I really did have feelings for him.” Sigh. And then there were three!
Until next week!

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