Stop reading now if you don’t want spoilers on week eight of Andi Dorfman’s season of The Bachelorette (original air date: Monday, July 7, 2014).
It’s hometown week on The Bachelorette! This is the week where Andi gets to meet the families of the four remaining men and get insight into who will go bald, who has a bitchy sister, who has the cutest nephews and nieces, and who was a total uggo as a kid.
To kick things off, Andi meets Nick in Milwaukee. They head to the local market, where Andi tries on a chees hat and they kiss everywhere. Then the cute couple venture to Lakefront Brewery (dream date!) to test out the custom Nick and Andi ‘Perfect Brew’ beer. They seem like they’ve been dating forever, and the (minor) drama surrounding Nick the past few weeks seems to have faded away. Nick teaches Andi how to dance polka, and then they are off to Nick’s family home in Waukesha where we learn that he has like 47 brother and sisters. I’m barely exaggerating: there are ten of them, including Nick.
Nick’s family seems lovely, and when he reveals that he got the first impression rose on night one, he jokes that it’s because Andi “felt sorry” for him. Nick confides in his sister Maria that he’s fallen for Andi, and she confirms that Andi “seems real…definitely your type.” Maria gets a bit emotional speaking to Andi later, because she’s worried that Nick will get hurt again (and she reminds us that he had been engaged at one point). Andi is a hit with Nick’s sister, who thinks she’s “be a great fit” for him and the family.
Nick also has a very young sister named Bella, who has a few questions of her own for Andi. First: what do you like most about him? Andi tries to explain what a “mental connection” means to a 10 year old. Ha. When Bella asks “do you truly love my brother?” Andi responds that he’s “amazing” but it’s all a bit of broken telephone later when Bella relays to Nick that Andi is definitely super in love with him too. It’s all kind of cute, actually.
Nick gushes to his mother that he can see spending the rest of his life with Andi, and they both start to cry. He refers to Andi as “a half of me that’s been missing” and mom just wants to see him happy (well, duh). She knows that her son would treat the woman he loves as well as he’s treated her. Cute overload!
Rejoining Nick’s entire (massive) family, they put Andi on the spot to see if she can name each family member on the GIANT WALL OF FAMILY PORTRAITS. She nails it. But she doesn’t nail Nick, because it’s time to go. While parting ways, Nick’s voiceover says he doesn’t tell Andi he loves her because he’s pretty confident he’s sticking around to next week and will have more time. “I don’t think of her as The Bachelorette anymore,” Nick says. I think of her as my girl.”
Next up we’re in Arlington, Iowa, which sounds made up. It’s time for Andi to visit farmer Chris. I’ve been referring to Chris as yawn face for a few weeks but he’s really impressed me lately and is totally dark horsing the shit out of this show. It doesn’t hurt that Andi thinks he looks super hot in his plaid shirt and best. She arrives at his lovely and very clean and well decorated ‘farm house’ and it’s beautiful and idyllic there. Andi is visibly impressed. They go for a ride on his tractor (not a euphemism) and Andi thinks Chris is just the “epitome of man” and the “hottest farmer ever.” Andi gets a turn to drive the tractor (insert a ‘handling stick’ joke here, as you please) and then they sit down in the fields to enjoy a picnic lunch.
The thought of what life in rural Arlington would be like is heavy on Andi’s mind, particularly in relation to her career. After all, Andi is an Assistant District Attorney in Atlanta. She asks Chris “what would I do for work here” and as we saw in the previews last week he responds “there’s an opportunity to be a homemaker” BUT IT’S ALL JOKES Y’ALL. Chris is totally kidding. Andi’s fallen for farm life, and apparently Chris too. She’s not jst a city girl, and speaks about time spend out in Alabama at a family cottage, hunting and getting her hands dirty. “This love is definitely beginning to take off” Chris says, and shortly after a plane flies overhead with a banner reading “Chris Loves Andi.” I’m dying. I’m dead. WELL PLAYED! As for Andi’s thoughts on the declaration? “That melted my heart.”
Later at Chris’ family home, Andi is introduced to ne of the loveliest broods ever. They’re all WHITE TEETH BLONDE HAIR HAPPY HAPPY. His mom raises a glass to Andi, saying how excited they all are to meet her. I’m focused on what they’re actually eating, which appears to be lamb. Fancy! Chris and his family are cute and funny and obviously very close. Someone tells a fart joke and it’s revealed by his sister Lori that Chris used to only wear underwear on school days. Sitting down with his three sisters later on, they gush about how hard working Chris is, while outside Chris and his mom chat around a fire. CAN I MOVE IN?????? Mom asks Chris if Andi could see herself living on a farm, and we learn that she wasn’t a farm girl to start: she was from a ‘city’ and first experienced farm life after marrying Chris’ dad and she loved raising kids and building a life in that environment.
When Andi chats with his mom, she emphasizes that she’s ready to get married and start a family and his mom is all “You’d have gorgeous kids! I’ll babysit! You can totally have a career here!” I love her. Andi and his mom are eve holding hands when they get up from their conversation. Well, I’m totally in love with this family. Looks like Andi is too! When Andi is leaving, Chris says “I told you that you would fit in like a puzzle piece.” They say their goodbyes and Chris is “hoping like crazy that she feels the same way about me that I feel about her.”
The third hometown date of the week is Josh in Tampa, Florida. He’s been living in Atlanta for a bit, but this is where his family hail from. So Josh is undeniably handsome and charming but Andi still seems a teensy bit weary/unsure around him. She has mentioned in earlier episodes that he represents her usual “type” and that he reminds her of some of her exes. They hit up the baseball diamond (predictable, as Josh is a ‘former pro ball player’, whatever that means). It turns out that Josh hasn’t played in seven years, and still has a love/hate relationship with the sport. Andi takes a turn at bat, where she manages to crack a bat in half. Afterwards, they sit around to chat and the topic turns to Josh’s brother Aaron, a college football player who is trying to go pro. They talk about Aaron for so long that I start to get this weird feeling that Josh is maybe using the show to ‘promote’ his brother. Eek.
Arriving at Josh’s family home, Andi is greeted by a large dark-haired and very attractive family. Josh starts to cry because he’s missed them so much. There’s also a bulldog named Sable that steals the show. They sit down to eat and IMMEDIATELY the topic turns to Aaron and his football prospects. Um, hello? Your son is here with a girlfriend who he met on TV. Nothing about that? Ok then. Andi understands that the family is super focused on Aaron right now, but she wants them to be excited about/for Josh too (though I can’t actually remember what his job is).
Josh’s mom pulls Andi aside for some private talk, and she looks young enough to be his sister. She tells Andi she “can tell that Josh is in love” but also says she can’t see him “cutting the chord” from Aaron and his football dreams/the family. WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT AARON? Andi’s voiceover expresses concerns about having to spend every weekend driving to and from various games, so when Josh’s dad asks her if she’d be into that life she lets out a slow “yesssssssss(?)” Josh’s sister Stephanie (clearly the brains of the bunch) is very candid, telling Andi that the family (and Josh) are so sports obsessed that “you’re probably going to fight about it.”
Josh admits to his mother that he’s falling in love with Andi and that it “really does happen” on TV/The Bachelorette. Mom is thrilled, telling him that he’s put himself last for so long. Things turn around when Aaron tells Andi that this is Josh’s time to be happy and focus on himself. Even mom admits in her private interview that Josh needs to make his wife a priority and live life for himself. The night caps off with a game of touch football on the grass.
The final hometown date this week takes place in Dallas, Texas, current residence of Marcus (originally from Alberta, Canada). According to Marcus, he was “ready to get down on one knew a week ago.” Whoa there, easy cowboy. Marcus is wearing the shit out of some shorts and has fantastic legs and god I love a dude in converse shoes. I really do.
Marcus and Andi venture inside some weird looking bar/theatre and he pours her some champagne and then leaves her sitting on a couch. He returns dressed in his pilot costume from earlier in the season, and in a nod to that group date performs a stripper dance for Andi who loves every minute of it because, as she puts it, Marcus is just “SO HOT”. Buttt…couldn’t they have found something better to do with that time? It’s TEXAS! Oh well. Andi purrs that Marcus is “one of the hottest guys” she’s ever dated. Sadly, he has to put his shirt back on so they can leave. They stroll through cute shop-lined streets and Marcus confesses that he’s only ever brought one girl home to meet his family and that was three years ago. He also tells Andi: “you’re everything to me and I love you very much.”
Sports Medicine Manager Marcus has been open about his family issues (absentee dad, no longer really in the picture and his mom had some issues as well) so Andi doesn’t know what to expect but his family turns out to be so, so lovely. Marcus’ niece presents him and Andi with homemade friendship bracelets and they put them on, much to her delight. Marcus’ sister Kathy (?) tells Andi that he was “glowing” when he came into the house. Andi reveals that she likes his “strength” but admits she was a bit worried about how quickly he fell for her. In her voiceover, Andi says that there’s a part of her that worries if she can “catch up” to him on that level. Andi has clearly won over his sister, because she just wants to hug the girl that “makes him that happy.” Outside with his brother Conrad, Marcus gets emotional while thanking Conrad for being the father figure after their dad left. Conrad says he hasn’t seen Marcus so crazy about a woman before, and thinks Andi is “fun and down-to-earth.” They hug it out, handsomely.
When Andi and Marcus’ mom Helena sit down to chat privately, she asks Andi what makes her son special. Andi responds that he’s “humble, confident and mature” and says that Marcus has been very open about his past with her. Mom seems a bit surprised at that, saying that he is typically more reserved so he must trust her very much to open up. Mom tells Andi that she is “bright, intelligent and beautiful” and that Marcus has “sparkles in his eyes.” Later, Marcus tells his mother that he feels “very happy and complete” around Andi and “at peace and fulfilled.” Mom is thrilled and thinks Andi is amazing. When they say their goodbyes, it’s super romantic and Marcus tells Andi “I love you, I truly do.” Andi muses that life with him “would be a fairy tale.”
Following hometown dates, everyone gathers back in LA as per usual but Chris Harrison asks the four remaining men and Andi to come to his house, where he tells them that Eric Hill has passed away. Everyone becomes emotional and it’s obviously a huge shock. Marcus is so distraught he leaves the room and Andi goes after him but tells him they have to go inside and “do this together.” Chris Harrison, Andi, Nick, Marcus, Chris and Josh are comforted by producers (including Elan!!!) and Andi really breaks down talking to a producer named Alicia I think about her last conversation with Eric. The night he left the show, things had gotten a bit heated and Andi feels a lot of guilt that their last moments together were spent upset at one another.
She pulls it together for the rose ceremony the next day (after confiding in Chris Harrison that “there’s a part of me that feels guilty having happiness out of all this”), but standing before the remaining men she begins to cry again and is comforted by Chris Harrison in an adjoining room. She worries that she can’t be strong for the men but Chris reminds her that they’re all trying to be strong for her too. She returns to hand out the roses, saying “we’re all in this together…I’m here for you.” Before handing out the first rose of the night, Andi tells the men that the amount of love she received from their families “was more than I even expected.”
At this point, my viewing mates and I are thinking it’s likely Josh will be sent home, possibly Chris (despite his great hometown date) simply because Nick and Marcus have been frontrunners since the very early weeks. So when the first rose goes to Josh, my viewing mates and I actually shrieked “WHAT?????!!!” at the TV. When the second rose goes to Chris I think I threw up a bit in my mouth. Ultimately, Marcus is the one sent packing tonight. Whoa. I was so sure he was final two, if not ‘the one.’
Sitting on the rejection bench with Andi, she tells a stunned Marcus that he “would give me the workd and…I would be lucky to be with you” but that ultimately he was in love with her and she wasn’t quite there yet. “You did nothing wrong!” she emphasizes a few times. “You’ve been open and vulnerable to me.” At this point Andi is really crying and starts to crumble when Marcus responds: “I don’t know what to do from this point on. You were everything to me.” Andi’s parting words to a devastated Marcus are “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you gave me…you did everything right.” Marcus drives away in the sad sack limo and Andi looks completely gutted. In the car, Marcus confesses that he feels like an idiot, and adds “the sad thing is I’m still going to miss her…I’m still in love with her.” Ouch. As the credits rolled I turned to my viewing mates and predicted that “Marcus is going to revenge fuck half of Texas to try and get over her.”
So what are your thoughts on Marcus’s shocking departure? Does this mean Nick is a lock to be the last man standing? Did she send Marcus home now because bringing him to the final two knowing that she was going to pick Nick would hurt him too much? Or will Chris continue to Dark Horse the shit out of everything? It can’t be Josh in the end, can it?
Hit me up in the comments.