Weird Shit I Said/Wrote This Week

“I just fell into the most intense Murphy Brown IMDB spiral.”

“Have you ever looked at someone and just KNOWN they went to a Christian university? That guy, look. His teeth look soooo religious.”

“According to every show EVER on A&E, arsenic was *the* poison of choice for women named Dawn murdering their husbands in 1989.”

“On a scale of ‘1’ to ‘Dear God woman put those things away’ – how much side boob is this dress showing?”

“All that’s in my fridge right now is an empty Brita water filter, two kinds of mustard, and on onion of questionable origin.”


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