I’ve started to keep track.
“Lean into mediocrity.”
“Way to have a generic blood type, bro.”
“I eat too much bacon to pretend to want to be a vegetarian, and I can’t afford to eat organic because I’d rather spend the money on wine. Please don’t tell me to stop eating cheese. Stop yelling at me, internet!”
“I could totally be a spy. As long as I had a guarantee that I couldn’t die. But totally. I could totally do it. Remember how much you liked the show ‘Alias’?”
“I wish you were here and we could just hang out on my couch and watch Moulin Rouge! and The Shawshank Redemption. I don’t know why, but those are the 2 movies I really want to watch with you right now. And we’d order from the good Thai place and I’d pretend to feel guilty about drinking wine in front of you.”