Stop reading now if you don’t want spoilers on week eight of Sean Lowe’s season of The Bachelor (original air date: Monday, February 18, 2013).
Welcome to hometown dates week on The Bachelor. It’s that special time where the remaining 4 ladies get to introduce The Bachelor to their families and pray that no one says anything embarrassing, pulls out the fat pics from high school or, you know, calls out the Bachelor/Bachelorette process for the hotbag of crazy that it really is.
The first hometown date is AshLee. AshLee is starting to work my last nerve with her control issues and her super serious personality. Loosen up a little, lady! She constantly sounds like she’s reading from a self-help book. Or more specifically, ALL THE SELF HELP BOOKS. Sean refers to AshLee as a frontrunner from the beginning. They cop a squat on a picnic blanket and despite emphasizing in St. Croix that she had no intention of bringing it up again, AshLee almost immediately starts talking about how she got married in high school and how Sean’s reaction was the best thing ever; in fact, it was a ‘life changing moment’. Groan. Sean and AshLee arrive at her adoptive parents’ house and AshLee regales them with the (apparently emotional?) story of the polar bear plunge adventure. Somehow she manages to connect a fear of emotional abandonment with a polar bear plunge. COME. ON. Ugh, enough already. AshLee’s mom and Sean have a tête-à-tête and – surprise surprise – AshLee’s abandonment issues come up. Look, we get it. She had a rough childhood. She went through a difficult foster care system and had some issues. But she seems to have made a great life for herself despite all of that (like, some people would use that kind of upbringing as an excuse to be a dickbag) so why why why is this abandonment and control stuff seemingly the main focus of conversation these last few weeks? When Sean talks with AshLee’s dad, they discuss her dad signing off on her teenage marriage. AshLee’s dad admits that he had reservations but it seemed like the best thing to do at the time. He also gives Sean the go-ahead to propose to AshLee if that’s where things go in the end. The four of them eventually sit down for an outdoor meal (did the producers make them drag their dining room table outside??!!), and AshLee’s dad tells the emotional story of the first day they met AshLee. Sean and AshLee say a kissy goodbye and he’s off to the next date. According to AshLee, the day was ‘magical.’
The next hometown date is with Catherine. Sean and Catherine always have a great time together, but even Sean admits that at first he wasn’t sure if there was enough romance there. They head to a market in Seattle where singing fishmongers throw fish at them. It’s a thing. Speaking of things, the vibe between Sean and Catherine is super cute and flirty and fun but is it all a little try-hard? Is it all fun and no substance? Catherine prepares Sean for meeting her mother, grandmother and two sisters. Sean scores major points upon arriving at her family home when, following Pilipino tradition, he touches her grandmother’s hand to his forehead. Catherine’s sisters grill her on Sean and ask if she would say yes if Sean proposed to her. Catherine answers: “I wanna try this out”. Um, hold up. You wanna TRY THIS OUT? Her sisters comment that it sounds like Catherine is trying to convince herself that she’s super into Sean and the whole situation. Catherine assures them that she wouldn’t have brought Sean home to meet her family if she wasn’t on board. When Sean talks to Catherine’s sisters he asks if Catherine is looking to settle down and they, in a round-about way after a telling pause, basically say: ‘not quite’. They also pretty much call her a clothes hoarding slob. Ha. Sean and Catherine’s mom have a chinwag in the kitchen. Catherine’s mom (love her) doesn’t want Catherine to get hurt and tells Sean not to lead her on. She also says she doesn’t want Catherine to lead him on. Sean asks for her blessing (to propose) and the response from her mom is: “Well you’re going to leave. You have to mull it over. There are three other ladies. Let’s see what happens.” Hmm…could it be that Catherine’s family sees something we don’t. Is she just along for the ride and not looking to get engaged in the end?
The next hometown date is with Lindsay. Lindsay and Sean seem like a couple. They’re really affectionate and comfortable with each other. I just wish that she was….smarter. Am I mean? She just comes off a little too giggly and a teensy bit vacant. She’s a total sweetheart but the cutesy up-talking is slightly concerning (to me). Lindsay puts Sean through some ‘army training’ before meeting her dad. There’s a lot of sit-ups and Lindsay plays drill sergeant. Apparently, drill sergeants are allowed to slap the asses of their recruits. Then it’s time to meet the 2 Star General. Lindsay tells her parents that she got out of the limo in a wedding dress on the first night. They think it’s a hoot. Sean seems super comf with Lindsay’s parents, who love how happy she looks. Sean and Lindsay’s mom sit down together and she goes straight for the ‘are you falling in love with my daughter?’ question which Sean obviously has to circle around but answers well by saying: “I’m not in a position to say that right now. I feel like when I say ‘I love you’, it means ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you’.” Lindsay’s mom is pleased with that answer. Sean wonders if Lindsay’s ‘younger’ age (24) should be a concern – is she ready to settle down? Her mom confirms that she is. Sean then meets with Lindsay’s dad who, understandably, doesn’t want to see her get hurt. Sean asks for her dad’s blessing in case he wants to propose in the end, and (eventually) gets a tentative ‘yes’. Lindsay’s dad also presents the happy couple with custom dog tags and she tells Sean she’s falling in love with him. Verdict: success. Looks like Lindsay is likely to be in the final two.
The final hometown date is with Desiree. I’ve been looking forward to this one ever since last week’s preview showed some major tension between Sean and Desiree’s brother. Des and Sean meet up for a hike. In a voiceover, Sean says they’ve had a connection since the beginning and he can see her being his wife. Later that evening, Des and Sean arrive at her house (not the typical ‘family home’ we usually see) and they start preparing dinner for her family. There’s a knock at the door and some random guy is demanding to speak to Des privately. Sean at first think it’s her brother but quickly realizes it isn’t. Random guy tells Desiree he’s still in love with her after dating for two years and asks where she’s been that she’s ignored his calls and texts. Desiree answers: “I’ve been busy.” No kidding. Sean gets all dude bro and clenched fists and looks like he’s about to punch the guy out. Turns out..it’s all a practical joke! A little payback for the joke Sean played on Desiree on their first date. Desiree’s parents and brother show up. Des’s parents seem really nice and comment on how handsome and sweet Sean is. Her brother Nate, on the other hand…… not so great. Des’s brother first grills her on Sean and seems super skeptical. He’s being a bit of a douche, but I get it: brothers are protective and this Bachelor thing can be sketchy. Her brother’s ‘tude doesn’t get any better when he ‘hollers’ at Sean (as in, can I ‘holler at you for a minute’). Nate flat-out accuses Sean of being a ‘playboy’ and feels that though it’s obvious Des is into Sean, Sean doesn’t seem to be that into Des. Sean is shocked that Nate hasn’t seen any ‘reciprocation’ on Sean’s part. Sean defends himself really well but the brother isn’t buying it. And, honestly, he’s got a point right? Sean is in fact dating 4 women and meeting their families with the goal of proposing to one of them within a few weeks. The brother isn’t wrong, he’s just coming at Sean in a way that makes him seem like a jerk. Back inside, it’s clear that something major went on between the two outside, despite Nate trying to play it off as no big deal. Desiree gets upset and things get awkward really quickly, with her parents starting to talk about the weather in an effort to change the subject. Sean politely makes his exit and Des immediately apologizes about her brother. Back inside she’s PISSED, Nate tells her that Sean isn’t ‘the one’, and it’s clear that if Sean dumps Des at the next rose ceremony she will for sure blame her brother. Eek! Up until the brother I was feeling Des for final two with Lindsay.
The next night’s rose ceremony is fraught with tension. Sean admits that Des and Catherine are the two he’s choosing between to send home. When he sits down with host Chris Harrison, it’s clear that Sean doesn’t know what to do. He tells Chris that Des’s brother really got under his skin. As for Catherine, Sean likes her independence but wonders if she is really ready to settle down right now.
Before the rose ceremony can start, Desiree asks to speak to Sean privately and Catherine looks just about ready to faint. Sean and Des head outside and she tearfully apologizes for the night before. Sean insists that she doesn’t need to apologize for her brother. They make their way back inside where the first roses, predictably, go to AshLee and Lindsay. With the final rose in hand, Sean is still struggling and after a looooooong pause he steps away without a word. Sean says it comes down to who he will miss the most the next day, and after a pep talk from Chris he heads back into the rose ceremony and sends Desiree home. Shocked! Desiree is gutted and tells Sean about 9 times that he’s making a huge mistake. Sean doesn’t completely disagree. Based on their goodbye I have to wonder if that mystery note we see Sean get handed at the final rose ceremony might be a last ditch effort from Desiree? I guess we’ll have to wait!
Tonight is the Bachelor Tells All special with Sean. I imagine it will mostly be about what a fuckface Tierra is. Fingers crossed.