The Bachelor (Sean) – Week Seven

Stop reading now if you don’t want spoilers on week seven of Sean Lowe’s season of The Bachelor (original air date: Monday, February 11, 2013).

Sean and his quickly dwindling harem are in St. Croix this week – quite the change from the Canadian Rockies last week!

Rule-breaker Sean decides to fly in with all of the ladies rather than take to the skies on his own. He’s still feeling super optimistic after a great time in Canada. The troupe arrives at the Buccaneer Hotel.

Right out of the gate, Tierra is being Tierra-ble. She immediately sets upon setting up her own private space and sleeping area rather than hang with the other ladies. Tierra still hasn’t had a one-on-one date with Sean and she’s getting a bit antsy. AshLee gets the first date card, much to Tierra’s dismay who then announces: “The cougar’s back in town.” I’m momentarily thrown off by the comment, until Tierra starts spewing some bullshit about how AshLee is 32 years old and that Tierra plans to be married and have a family by that age. So cougars are 32 years old now? Fabulous. I’ve got a year-and-a-half of non-cougar living to suffer through. Can’t wait to turn 32.

AshLee and Sean head out on their date. She is still battling some trust issues and personal demons, as a result of being abandoned by her birth parents at age 6. This is all explained in voice over, not to Sean. They frolic on the beach, as people do.

Meanwhile, the other ladies are hanging out and praying that AshLee is spending her time on the date telling Sean that Tierra is a bitch so that they don’t have to do it.

Sean outright asks AshLee if the drama has subsided. AshLee reveals that Tierra doesn’t play well with the other ladies. She’s rude and isolates herself. AshLee adds that Tierra may put on a good show when Sean is around, but the second things don’t go her way she’s pouty and awful and would basically be miserable to date.

Back at the hotel, a one-on-one date card arrives for Tierra. This is the first solo date for Tierra, and she immediately starts complaining about the date because it’s going to be in the main village and she prefers a boat date or something out on the water that’s less sweaty and won’t ruin her makeup.

Ugh. Go fuck yourself.

Later that evening on their date, AshLee reveals that in an act of rebellion or something like that she got married during her junior year in high school. They were broken up by her senior year. She had wanted to tell Sean before hometown date week. But there’s such a big build-up to it that she almost made it seem like she killed someone or something. Then AshLee screams “I LOVE SEAN” on the beach and, just off Queen Street West in Toronto, 3 girls drinking red wine and eating Greek food groaned in unison.

The next day Sean embarks on his first one-on-one date with Tierra, and he’s on a mission to find out if she really is the Tierra-ist the other girls have hinted at. Despite complaining the previous day that she wasn’t super thrilled about being on a date that didn’t involve a yacht and servants, Tierra certainly puts on a good front and doesn’t stop telling Sean how excited she is to be on this date. Sean buys Tierra some bracelet or something. Who cares. They wander into a street festival and Tierra shouts that it’s the BEST DAY EVER. She’s certainly acting like a blast. Well played.

Back at the hotel, the ladies are practically foaming at the mouth with excitement over Sean getting to see the ‘real’ Tierra and hopefully sending her ass home as a result.

Sean and Tierra cop a squat on some church steps and he asks her how things are going in the house. Tierra complains that ‘all the girls are jealous and mean to me and have been since that first night when I got the first rose’. When asked if she would act differently towards the other women if she could go back in time and do it over again, she says no. And adds that ‘these girls aren’t going to be around for much longer.’ Tierra is sensing that Sean is questioning her a bit more and strongly suspects that one of the other women has been talking shit about her to Sean. Uhhh…you think?

Later that evening during dinner, Tierra tells Sean she feels some distance and she wonders if something has happened between the time they left Canada and their date in St. Croix that has changed his mind about her. At one point she says she feels ‘behind in the game.’ I hope she’s just using a sports analogy and not referring to being on The Bachelor as a game. Sean admits that what some of the other women have been saying was weighing on his mind and maybe it’s affected his behaviour towards her.

The ladies, meanwhile, are waiting for the remaining date cards. Lesley gets the final one-on-one of the week, meaning Des, Catherine and Lindsay are heading on the group date.

Sean and Tierra hang out on the pier and she tells Sean that she’s falling in love with him. They gush about their amazing day together. Sean comes to the conclusion that she likely is not nice to the other women but she’s nice to him and so that’s all that matters. After all, the ladies won’t have to be living together in such close quarters for much longer.

Very VERY early the next morning (like pre-dawn), Sean sneaks into the ladies’ hotel rooms to wake them up for the group date and also see what they look like without makeup on. It’s pandemonium! Low maintenance Catherine is down for the challenge. She just has to pee. They drive out to a cliff to watch the sunrise from the most eastern point of the United States. The group spend the balance of the day exploring St. Croix, with Desiree really working hard for the date rose up for grabs. She sits shotgun en route to the beach and flirts up a storm.

Lesley’s date card arrives back at the hotel and is read by Tierra. SHE CAN READ! Admit you were a bit surprised. You assumed she could only interpret the results of a pregnancy test.

Sean and Lindsay have some giggly private time where they mostly make out and reminisce (again) about how surprised they both are that Sean kept her after week one, given that Lindsay stepped out of the limo in a wedding dress and got hammered during the first cocktail party.

When Catherine and Sean hang out on the beach she let’s Sean know that if she should still be around for the upcoming hometown dates he won’t meet her dad. Her dad is living in China and has some severe mental health issues.

Back at the hotel, drama is heating up and Tierra is wearing black platform bedazzled flip-flops. THE HORROR. It’s like her feet were gearing up for a career in stripping.

Desiree cries on the beach because she loves her family so much. I guess you grow pretty close to people when you live in a tent (Desiree had told Sean on a previous one-on-one date that she grew up ultra poor). But those tears aren’t enough for the date rose; in fact, the only person who didn’t cry on the beach – Lindsay – gets the date rose and thus a guaranteed hometown date.

Lesley and Sean meet up the following day for their one-on-one. Buuuuutttt…..Sean says in his private on-camera interview that he’s not sure if he’s feeling as strongly about Lesley as he is about some of the other woman. Immediately there’s more of a ‘friend’ vibe between the two of them. They discuss Sean potentially visiting her family in Arkansas, and Lesley is confident that Sean will fit in super well with her family. In her private interview, Lesley confesses that she’s falling in love with Sean and wants to tell him….but she doesn’t. The moment passes. Sean senses some tension with Lesley and feels like she’s holding back a bit. Overall, there’s a ton of awkwardness between them. There’s just something…missing.

Surprise! Sean’s sister Shay arrives in St. Croix to help Sean narrow down the pack from six to four. Sean tells his sister that he can see the possibility of marriage with all of the remaining ladies, and Shay just wants to make sure he doesn’t pick a crazy bitchbasket or the girl that no one likes. Sean talks about his immediate connection with Tierra but admits that the other women seem to hate her.

AshLee and Tierra start chatting in the hotel and Tierra accuses AshLee of sabotaging Tierra and Sean’s relationship by talking trash during her date earlier in the week. Tierra announces that men love her, so that’s why she doesn’t need to be a decent human being (?). She throws AshLee’s age in her face, basically calling her pathetic for being 32 and unmarried and on a reality show looking for love. Tierra insists she’s not rude, and that if she gives looks to the other women or has a hostile eyebrow (!) she can’t help it because that’s just her face and SHE HASN’T HAD BOTOX. That is a thing she said. Implying that because the other women are SO OLD they’ve all had Botox injections! Oh bitch you need to sit down.

Tierra adds that her parents worried about her coming on The Bachelor because she has a ‘sparkle’ and other women will try and take her sparkle away and tear her down. You know, because of her sparkle. Her argument of ‘I am not perfect, get over it’ falls really flat in light of the fact that no one thinks she’s even remotely perfect. Or, you know, tolerable.

You just know that Tierra’s parents are the kind who raised their daughter to believe the sun shines out of her ass and she’s better than everyone else right? I mean, they named their daughter TIERRA. What, were they worried there was going to be a bitch shortage 24 years later?

Sean decides to go grab Tierra and introduce her to his sister. When he arrives, she’s crying on her cot. Of course. It’s the Tierra show again. Oddly, as soon as Sean shows up she has a big smile on her face. She launches into her ‘why me?’ diatribe and when Sean tells her he wants to introduce her to someone she asks ‘who?’, twice, but doesn’t make a move to get up. Instead, she just keeps moaning and whining and crying. Sean looks..exhausted. Or maybe I’m just being hopeful. Tierra tells Sean that she confronted AshLee over the alleged sabotage. Sean tells Tierra he’ll be right back, and my Bachelor viewing mate R screamed ‘SEAN! IF YOU RETURN WITH A ROSE FOR THAT BITCH I WILL COME THROUGH THE TV AND CUT YOU.” I’m paraphrasing.

Sean returns and tells Tierra that he’s crazy about her and because he has seen how hard this has been on her it’s best if she goes home now.

HOLY.

SHIT.

……………………….

Tierra: I’m sorry.

Sean: You have no reason to be sorry.

 

Actually Sean, she has like 53 reasons. He asks if she wants to say goodbye to the other girls and, of course, Tierra says no. Sean walks her to a car while camera people and boom operators barely try and get out of the shot. Am I projecting or do they look happy to be filming this unexpected turn of events?

……………………….

Sean: Are you going to be ok?

Tierra: No. I’m not……..

Sean: I think the world of you.

Tierra: Obviously not enough.

………………………..

Ever the victim, Tierra goes on to blame the other girls for her departure, As in, ‘they got what they wanted’! But don’t worry, no one will take her sparkle away. She says so, in the car. SHE SAYS NO ONE WILL EVER TAKE AWAY HER SPARKLE.

In his voice over Sean says that it finally clicked that Tierra wasn’t the one for him. Must’ve been a really loud click. He tells his sister he just didn’t want to put such an emotionally vulnerable person through this process anymore, which is polite guy talk for “ding dong the crying crazy is gone.”

I can’t wait until Sean watches the show back and sees what she was like. I bet he won’t hold back on what he really thinks of Tierra during the eventual reunion special.

Des, Catherine, Lesley and AshLee wonder what happened to Tierra, and Sean arrives and tells them he had a moment of clarity and he knew Tierra wasn’t going to be his wife so he sent her home. He admits she was a source of drama. To their credit, the ladies barely react to this news. I would’ve been hooting and hollering. I probably would’ve demanded a sword and tried to open a champagne bottle with it. I’ve always wanted to do that.

Sean announces that there’s not going to be a cocktail party because he knows who he is sending home. With Tierra gone, there is only one more person to send home at this point. AshLee worries (a lot) that it’s her because she is the one who set off Tierra’s tirade. Not to worry AshLee, Sean sends Lesley home. Not a huge shock – after thier last date it was clear they just weren’t connecting on a romantic level. Catherine is devastated (I feel like her and Lesley had become good friends). She is shocked that Sean would send Lesley home, who in Catherine’s mind had more in common with Sean than she does. Also, does anyone else feel like the editing in this episode was really trying to make us feel that AshLee is going to turn into an epic stage-five clinger?

Guys, next week’s episode looks amazing. Hometown dates! I think Desiree’s brother might try and punch Sean.

Until then…

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