The Bachelor (Sean) – Week Three

Stop reading now if you don’t want spoilers on week three of Sean Lowe’s season of The Bachelor (original air date: Monday, January 21, 2013).

As I mentioned in my week two recap, I was in Mexico last week so I’m super late in posting my week 3 recap but you’ll forgive me because I’m so cute and tanned, right?

Muchas gracias.

Week three kicks off with host Chris Harrison reminding the ladies that they should be focusing on getting whatever time they can with Sean and making that time count. Duh.  He leaves the first date card behind and the lucky recipient is Lesley M. During week 2, Lesley and Sean really connected when they did a photo shoot for Harlequin romance novels and she barely wore a shirt.

Sean and Lesley head to the Guinness World Records Museum in Hollywood, where Sean reveals that his father is a record holder for driving through the most US states in the shortest amount of time. Then he tells Lesley that they are going to attempt to break a world record themselves: one for the longest continuous onscreen kiss. The previous record is 3 minutes and 15 seconds. Sean and Lesley easily set a new record but watching people kiss for that long is…well…long.  I find myself wondering if they at least gave Lesley time to brush her teeth first, just in case. I brush my teeth like 6 times a day and I would’ve still been running to the nearest loo to give my pearly whites a once over.  Side note: Is Sean trying to break a record for most times someone has used the word ‘intimate’ on tv? Because I think he just did. Later that evening Sean and Lesley sit around and chat about their perfect childhoods and make out a bit (more!) and it’s all very nice and only mildly yawn-inducing.

Meanwhile at the Moderately Desperate Ladies Hotel, the group date card arrives with the message: “Who’s going to win my heart?” Me thinks a competition is afoot.

Back on Sean and Lesley’s date, Sean asks Lesley if she believes she could develop real feelings for him on a reality show and she says yes (duh) and Sean gives her the rose. Well, if that’s all it takes…Overall, I think Lesley will stick around for a while. They’re cute together and clearly Sean is attracted to her but there’s still some awkwardness and hesitation there (yes, despite them kissing for a million years). In her private on camera interview, Lesley confesses that she’s falling in love with Sean. Ugh. Of course.

Group date day arrives and 12 women head to the beach with Sean who is wearing a supertight baby blue tank top reminiscent of Steve Sanders from Beverly Hills 90210. The group frolicks on the beach but Chris Harrison arrives to let them know that fun time is over and it’s time to get really, really serious about beach volleyball. The ladies are divided into two teams and are told that the winning team will get to spend the evening with Sean, while the losing team will be forced to halt spray tanning for the rest of the season. Just kidding. That would cause anarchy. The losing team will just be going home with the sads.

The volleyball game begins and it’s quickly apparent that these girls would’ve benefitted from a little less time getting hair extensions and a little more time paying attention during high school gym class. Taryn claims this is pretty much the most important thing of all time.  For realises. The game comes to a dramatic end and the winning team sprays champagne all over each other (natch) while the losing team cries. Literally. The losers walk barefoot (Britney spears style) back to the loser van that takes them home.

Back at the house, model Kristy is still crying over the loss and blames herself for missing the final point. Daniella worries that Sean hasn’t seen her romantic, serious side and that because of this she may be sent home. I want to hug her and tell her not to worry: Sean may not have seen her romantic side but he saw most of her ass on the beach and that`s probs good enough to keep her around for another week. Maybe.

Back on the group date, the winners are basking in the glory of their win. Lindsay tells Sean (in a baby voice) that she’s, like, so amazed by him. She laughingly claims to not need constant attention. This from the girl who wore a wedding dress on the first night. They kiss and of course she describes it as `amazing`. Just ONCE I would love to see a girl say: `Meh, he just doesn`t do it for me. Peace out. I`m going for shawarma.`

Sean and Desiree also get some one on one time. They had that great date last week and Desiree is keen to make sure he hasn`t forgotten her. Suddenly she really looks like Katie Holmes to me. Sean and Des obviously have a great connection and it`s obvious from her conversation with Sean that she`s super confident about their relationship so far. Too confident? Only time will tell.

Back at the house the ladies have finally stopped crying and Tierra reads the next date card and says that it`s for AshLee and Selma. But she`s just kidding. The date is for AshLee only. Selma does not find it funny and I’m guessing that by day’s end there will be one more voodoo doll with a piece of Tierra’s hair in it floating around that house.

Back on the group date, Amanda covets the date rose and tells Sean that if they were to get married she would be the Funnest! Wife! Ever! Some of the other girls overhear what Amanda is saying and start talking smack (mostly Desiree) about her saying she’s a completely different person around them than she is around Sean. Same old.

Kacie decides that she’s going to use the Amanda and Desiree drama to her advantage because she senses that Sean won’t tolerate drama. She corners Sean and tells him that Desiree and Amanda are feuding and Sean asks why she’s telling him this, because to him they both ‘seem fine’. Kacie plays the ‘I just want to tell you what’s going on’ card and swears she doesn’t like drama but it’s painfully obvious that Sean is now seeing Kacie as drama. He flat out asks her why is she involving herself with their shit. Kacie reassures Sean that he is her main focus. Clearly Kacie’s plan has majorly backfired. Sean actually tells her he wishes she was acting like the Kacie he met before on some Bachelor/Bachelorette alumni tour and not this ‘crazy person.’ Ouch. What is happening to my Kacie? Get it together girl! Sean rejoins the ladies and gives Lindsay the date rose.

It’s a new day and personal organizer AshLee is preparing for her solo date with Sean. While she’s waiting for Sean to arrive, the ladies hear a loud clatter and Tierra has fallen down the stairs. Sean arrives about 5 seconds later and suspects that she has a concussion so in true Bachelor fashion the ambulance arrives. Tierra starts to act like a stubborn kid and rudely insists she doesn’t want to go with the paramedics and that she wants to be left alone, claiming it’s not necessary for her to go to the hospital. The producers are huddling around her begging her to go to the hospital but she staunchly refuses. Some of the less-fond-of-Tierra gals speculate that Tierra’s dramatic fall was all a plot to get Sean’s attention, as she knew he would be arriving shortly for his date with AshLee. Well if that was her plan, it works. They cuddle up outside and Sean and Tierra even joke about her fall leading to them spending some alone time.  Inside the house, AshLee is still waiting for her date to start.

Finally, Sean and AshLee head out. They arrive at Six Flags Magic Mountain (jealous!) and it’s been closed to the public, but Sean has invited two children from Starlight Children’s Foundation (an organization supporting seriously or critically ill children). What makes the whole thing even cuter is that the two girls who are joining them on their date are best friends online but have never met in person. The foursome set out on the park. The sun sets and Sean announces one more surprise: a private concert by the Eli Young Band. I’ve not heard of them but Sean and the two teens clearly have.

Later on, Sean and AshLee spend some time alone and she talks a bit about her adoption at age 6 and her earlier life in a foster home, which included abuse. Sean gives AshLee the date rose and in her private interview she ALSO says she’s falling in love. Um, I’ve spent more quality time with my dry cleaner than these two have spent together. AshLee also becomes the first person to say ‘journey’ in this episode. Drinking game cue! They slow dance to the Eli Young band as their date comes to an end. My overall take on the Sean and AshLee date is this: AshLee is gorgeous, seems super great and she has a huge heart but I feel that she lacks the goofy side that I think Sean is really looking for. She seems very…controlled.  I don’t sense a huge amount of chemistry between the two of them like we’ve seen Sean exhibit with Tierra and Desiree.

It’s rose ceremony night and Sean enters a room full of lusty crazies and tells them they all look beautiful. This, clearly, sets off a feeding frenzy.

Sean pulls Sarah aside and a limo arrives with her dog Leo to cheer her up since she didn’t have a date this week. Ah, right in the cuterus. Well played, Sean.

Later, Sean and Tierra are eyefucking while inside the house Jackie (who?) is nervous about not really having any time with Sean thus far. I swear I don’t remember this girl from previous episodes. And I’m pretty sure she’s Malin Ackerman. Desiree interrupts Sean’s tête-à-tête with a slightly nervous (and apparently hostile) Tierra who then pulls a robbery right back and almost immediately lures Sean away for more alone time. The other girls are plotting away while drinking some champs, and Lesley M. decides to interrupt Sean and Tierra.

Desiree’s unravelling and tensions are building. Ladies are pulling Sean every which way and Kacie (wearing an AMAZING DRESS THAT I WANT SO HARD – you can see just the top of it here) is thrilled to have a few moments to apologize to Sean for her behaviour on their group date but – surprise surprise – she`s interrupted before she gets the conformation she desperately wants from Sean that all is cool between them.

At the rose ceremony, Sean looks visibly nervous – his fingers tapping incessantly on the first rose stem. Before he begins handing out roses he asks to speak to Kacie privately. Sean tells Kacie that he has way too much respect for her to keep her through another rose ceremony when he doesn’t see a romantic connection. So, Kacie is sent packing, Boo. I love Kacie but I kind of figured this would happen. Back at the rose ceremony, the final rose goes to a sweating Desiree, and Kristy and Taryn are sent home. Both girls are clearly upset but not crazy-eyed! Easy peasy.

Sean and his harem toast to a great week ahead. Looks like we’re in for some roller derby action and Tierra cries and is referred to as a plague. Looking forward to it. Back on Tuesday with a full recap.

XO

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