I’ve never lived with a roommate. I went straight from living with my folks to my own apartment in Toronto’s west end when I was 23. There was a dude around for a few years, but I wouldn’t let him move in. My apartment is tiny and I don’t think couples should share a space that is so small you are constantly in each other’s line of sight and can always hear when the other is peeing.
I love living alone. It`s quiet. You can vacuum in the nude. No one can see how often you clean your remote control with a Q-Tip and Windex. It can get a little lonely, though, and I am casually contemplating moving into a bigger place and getting a roommate at some point. But for now I’m very content living on my own.
The flip side to living alone is that one can develop some…eccentricities. Perhaps you’ve seen this?
I catch myself belting out Springsteen while washing dishes, or marathoning The O.C. wearing nothing but knee socks and moisturizing gloves. And then there’s the weird shit I say out loud. I caught myself doing it the other day and decided to start keeping track. Here’s a sampling of the crazy:
“Wow, there are a lot of wine glasses in the sink, and no one’s been over for days.”
“Thank god I live alone. If there was anyone around to witness how many Hot Pockets I just ate I think they’d feel a moral obligation to stage an intervention.”
“All I have to show for the last two days is an empty box of Special K Red Berries cereal and a finished Mad Men Season 1 DVD.”
“I wonder if someone would pay me to recite every episode of Seinfeld into their mouth?”
“I’m worried that if I watch Sex and the City season 4 one more time it’s going to go on strike.”
So tell me, do you have any weird solo living habits?