The Best Thing You’ll Read on the Internet Today (I Promise)

So, some soon-to-be-fired person at BIC decided that ladies needed their own pens.

Um, no.

So then this happened.

One of my favourite things is when a stupid product gets posted to Amazon and then people write ridiculously awesome product reviews for them. Like this.

So, naturally, this happened. Scroll down to the Customer Reviews. You may want to put down a towel or at the very least close your office door.

Some highlights:

Me man! Me mad!, August 28, 2012
This make me mad How come you not make pen, too, for me, me man, me? Me man! MAN! No pen, no man pen for man! Ugh! Me can make, work pen, pen work make letter TOO. Not lady alone! You make inaccessible, neutered pen, for eunuchs and androids, and lady pen, make lady-parts pen for princess, princess, but you, why you, no make pen for UGHH YOU NO MAKE MAN PEN! MAKE ME MAD INSTEAD! WHEN DAWN OF MAN TO COME!!!

Can the gays use them?, August 28, 2012
So pretty. I suppose we could just wait for Bic to release pens specifically made for gay men, but until that day arrives, I say let us use the Lady Pens.
Caveat Emptor!, August 28, 2012
I purchased a set of Bic LadyPens for one of my wives (the one who knows how to write), using my own funds. (This should not come as a surprise, as women should not be allowed to come into contact with currency; their menstrual cycles will curse it and make it lose value, much as these cycles will cause wine to sour.) However, I found that, when given these pens, she began writing more frequently and more fervently. Soon, she was corresponding with other women (via the Postal Service, which, unbeknownst to me, now also accepts pieces of mail from women). Gradually, more and more radical ideas entered her mind. Sure, it started with her asking for simple things like a mortar and pestle (until now, my wives had ground spices with their knuckles), but before I knew it she was demanding to be shod! I blame the pens – clearly they were the catalyst for her awakening! I am currently away on business (I will be delivering an address to a large convention in Tampa this week), and I am honestly quite vexed about the state of my homestead upon returning!
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