Funny Girls in Tight Jeans

From time to time on this blog I like to post email conversations that took place between my friend M and I during the Spring/Summer/Fall of 2010 when we were drinking like it was our job.

And then barfing at our actual jobs.

We were also sexual predators, it would seem. Or at least sexual predator-adjacent.

Here’s an email conversation that took place on November 15, 2010.


J: I’m fairly certain that Jake Gyllenhaal keeps getting better looking in order to keep me distracted. Asshat.

Jake Gyllenhaal

M: That handsome, handsome son of a bitch!

J: You know who else has a completely stupid face and disgusting sculpted abs and biceps that appear to be hideously carved from stone? Zac Efron. Hello lunch. Welcome back.

Zac Efron

M: Ew. You know who else is helping me purge after I binge? This guy. Oh good! Those dry heaves I ordered just got here.

Bradley Cooper

J: MY EYES. Geeze. Thanks for assaulting my eyes with this trash bag and mess of a face.

M: And that’s nothing compared to this human loser.

Jude Law


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