Funny Girls in Tight Jeans

Two ridiculous email chains from M and I.

This first one is from around Halloween last year. We were looking forward to buying our Halloween costumes (the ladies from St. Elmo’s Fire), andalso spent the work day emailing each other photos of Gary Oldman.

J: We’re going to Monster Mash the hell out of Halloween costume shopping tonight!!! I’ll meet you in the fuzzy sweater aisle of the Value Village. We can slow motion run towards each other.


J: That shit got real at the 4 minute mark. Oh, R has to search for the St. Elmo’s Fire DVD. We must rewatch pre-Halloween. Even though we just watched it for the millionth time like 5 minutes ago.

M: It’s like there’s a vortex in her apartment with really great taste. I actually had to sit down at someone else’s desk I was going into so much detail about St. Elmo’s Fire.


Going back…to August…

M: Oh Gaaaaaaawd! Could you imagine anything worse? New movie. Buried. Ryan Reynolds plays a truck driver in Iraq who is buried in a coffin with only his BlackBerry for help. . It’s just Ryan Reynolds.

J: I’m too busy holed up in my office furtively watching an episode of Pillars of the Earth with a sign on my door that says “Do Not Disturb: Conference Call in Progress” to re-watch the trailer for this movie (for the 3rd time) but I do offer this observation: no man has ever worn as much foundation as Ryan Reynolds does. And I say this with some authority, as I’ve met RuPaul. Seriously – Ryan Reynolds? It’s not like it’s Rob Lowe.

M: Ewwwww not even!  I could watch an entire movie that was just his stupid face.  Oh, wait, I did that – it was St. Elmo’s Fire on pause. It was the words “Ryan Reynolds” so close to the word “Blackberry” that made me really lose it.  I’m going to write a movie about some guy who falls in love with Drew Barrymore based on her quirky facebook status updates. And then throw up.

J: I’d pay to see that movie. Twice. In 3D IMAX. I just added Willow Smith’s Whip My Hair to our youtube playlist. She’s 9. It’s the best song ever. She just says “I Whip My Hair Back and Forth” over and over.

M: My roommate and I were listening to that last night!! And then it played in my head for the rest of my life.

J: Of course you were. Ah, another song for my iPod that I have to pretend is Bob Dylan in case I ever run into anyone. I have so much ‘Bob Dylan’ on my iPod. I am lousy with ‘Bob Dylan.’ Now when an actual Bob Dylan song comes on I’m almost shocked.

M: If one more tall, fit twenty-something male wears a three piece suit to work I am going to have to start bathing in Plan B.

J: Tell me about it. I was in a tightly packed elevator this morning and I think I’m going to have to make a few calls and let someone know they’re going to be a daddy!!

M: Last night I made three types of popcorn. Three. Types. Of. Popcorn. Twice. I also had a laugh this morning when I woke up and my last google search was “how to use a popcorn maker”. You just plug it in.


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