Overheard on the Set of the New 90210: Lunch Break

This is a conversation I presume took place today around the craft services tent on the set of the new 90210, between Shenae Grimes (who plays Annie Wilson) and Jessica Stroup (who plays Erin Silver aka “Silver”).

Shenae Grimes: Hey fat bitch.

Jessica Stroup: Hey fatter bitch (vomits her morning non-fat latte into a nearby trash can).

SG: Well played.

JS: Thanks. I’m down to 85 pounds now. Your breath is awful.

SG: I know! It’s all the vomiting! And I stopped brushing my teeth a month ago. Too many calories in toothpaste.

JS: Preaching to the choir. (Starts jumping up and down).

SG: What are you doing?

JS: Burning off my toothpaste calories from this morning.

SG: Good idea. I feel sooooo fat today. I ran on the treadmill this morning for like an hour and I had my mouth open the whole time. I ingested waaaaaay too much air. I can barely zip up my size 0 True Religions.

JS: I stopped breathing the day I was cast.

SG: I have so much to learn from you. (Reaches out to tap on Jessica’s ribs – loud knocking sound is heard). You sound great, by the way.

JS: I know! It’s the onset of osteoporosis. (Runs her fingers through her hair, and a clump falls out). Down to 84.

SG: Fuck. You’re bringing you’re A-game bitch. (Lights a cigarette).

JS: Please. Smoking? How 5th grade. It’s all about the meth, baby. Kills the appetite and gives you that really coveted ‘meth face’ that makes all the bones stick out. (Turns to the side).

SG: Hey, where’s you go?

JS: (Turns back to face Shenae).

SG: There you are!  You scared me! I almost slipped into a subway grate the other day. Thank god I was carrying a big purse.

JS: Well…salad for lunch?

SG: Totes! You want me to get you a Diet Coke?

JS and SG: (Load plates with lettuce leaves).

JS: You wanna eat together?

SG: Sure.

JS and SG: (Throw plates of salad into the garbage).

SG: That was fun!

JS: Same time tomorrow?

SG: Yeah. See you later. Time for my colonic.

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