Me: As you can tell, I wasn’t murdered on my way home last night. That said, I got onto a bus with the world’s loudest Spanish people who proceeded to SCREAM Spanish love songs until Bloor Street. Urge to kill was high. Then they all got off but one guy who then decided he was god’s gift and that he HAD to slime all over some innocent girl just trying to get home (not me, thank god). The last thing I heard was the girl saying “Can you please just leave me alone?!”. So she might be dead. Anyways, how is your morning?
K: Will I have to tackle Chuck Bass [from the show Gossip Girl -real name Ed Westwick – heading to Toronto on Sunday for the MMVAs} and lock Vanessa (Jessica Szohr – Ed’s co-star and real life girlfriend] in a U-Haul truck on its way to Antarctica? I mean, I’ll do it, but there’s gotta be an easier way!
Me: Yes, yes you will have to tackle. Alternate plan: can you say ‘fake pregnancy’ Just sayin: You + Ed Westwick + Roofies = a plan.
K: Can you say ‘real pregnancy’ caused by roofies?