Finally

After 60 years, Archie finally grew a set and made his choice.

Much like the Dylan-Brenda-Kelly triangle on 90210, Archie found himself choosing between the sexy crazy-eyed brunette Veronica and the sweet but most likely bulimic Betty. And he chose Veronica. And they’re, like, totally engaged. I can’t help but think he chose Veronica because she’s, like, rich. And she looks like she’d let him do anything to her. Like, anything. And rich girls always have the best pot.

And as all skanks (and winners) do, Veronica announced the engagement on her blog, saying: “There is so much to do, so many plans to make. I wonder if Betty wants to be my Maid of Honour? I bet she is so happy for me!”

Oh, snap.

In a depressed haze fueled by 3 pints of Haagen Daz and a little glue sniffing, Betty took to her own blog to tell the world she is “so sad,” and that “I don’t even know what to say.” (Memo to self: don’t ever read Betty’s blog again. Yawn city.)

I’m hoping for an invite to this wedding. But it may be tricky, given that it’s a comic book and all. Think that coked-out eastern European chick from the Aha video for ‘Take On Me’ can hook me up?

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