Recently I found myself on a quest to better my life. I decided the first place I needed to start was with my wardrobe. I’ve lived in skinny jeans, converse sneaks, and American Apparel t-shirts for the last few years, and I thought maybe it was time to step it up a notch. But where to turn for advice? And then, divine intervention in the form of a pamphlet taped to the hood of a car I was attempting to steal from the Wal-Mart parking lot: Bai Ling, renowned actress and classy lady extraordinaire, was teaching a self-improvement class at the local community college. For only $19.99, I too could learn how to be classy. I signed up early this morning, and the aging crack whore with open sores on her face and lucite heels on her cracked feet assured me that I would not be disappointed. Can’t wait! A new wardrobe, a new me.