An Open Letter to the Producers of Grey’s Anatomy

What are you smoking? I understand how much fun you all are having fucking with Katherine Heigl’s character Dr. Izzie Stevens. Because as we all know, Katherine Heigl talks out of her ass and deserves a little humbling (Hollywood style). Her little stunt last year – removing herself from Emmy contention because she claimed the material she was given wasn’t up to par – had people everywhere proclaiming “oh bitch – no you didn’t!” Yes, she did. Payback’s a bitch. And show creator Shonda Rhimes is a vengeful god. Your decision to continue with the whole ‘Izzie sees Denny’s ghost’ thing has now escalated to ‘Izzie talks with Denny’s ghost’, ‘holds hands with Denny’s ghost’, and – according to the preview for next week’s epi – ‘engages in sexy time with Denny’s ghost’. Oh producers, I appreciate how you tried to turn the whole thing into some sort of spiritual crisis – even going as far as having Izzie burn Denny’s sweater, because some guy in this week’s second most important story line told her that in his tribe they burn all possessions of the dead. Yeah buddy, well in my tribe we worship the concept of pre-drinking and Bring-Your-Own-Flask, but you don’t hear us preaching about it. Much. So people, do me a favour: please just draw the line at Izzie getting pregnant by the imaginary man. If the humiliation for Izzie must continue, may I suggest having her imaginary boyfriend leave the seat up so that she gets a 3 a.m. ass bath in the toilet? I’d pay to see that. Or maybe you can work with the set decoration team and strategically place Roswell promotional posters and DVD copies of My Father the Hero around the doctor’s house to remind Katherine that without Grey’s Anatomy, she’d still be the girl who did the Cover Girl commercials for the cover-up stick that also clears up zits. True story.  I’m with Justin Chambers’ character Dr. Alex Karev, who said early on in this week’s episode: “I’ve already had my quota of crazy for the year.” So producers, I beseech you – give up the ghost! Or just have Izzie go totally batshit crazy like the guy who screams religious scripture at the corner of Yonge and Dundas. Even that guy is less of an ass talker then Katherine Heigl.

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