Another Problem Solved

I like to get an early start on my Christmas shopping, then mock those who rush to malls in a sweaty panic come mid-December. It pleases me. But every year I run into the same problem: what to get for the person who has, well, everything! Well, bless the heavens – problem solved. This year, ladies, you’re getting The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking with Balls.

A Siberian lad names Ljubomir Erovic has released a cookbook via the interweb (fine, interNET, if you must) featuring several recipes in which the main ingredient is testicles. Balls. Whatever you wanna call them. The balls of bulls, ostriches, pigs, and turkeys, to be precise. So naturally I wonder, if eating turkey makes you sleepy, what the fuck does eating turkey balls do to you? I’m crossing my fingers for shiny hair. Yeah, it’s gotta be shinier hair. Some recipes to peruse, should they tickle your fancy: BBQ testicles, testicle pizza, and battered testicles.

Now some assface is gonna come out with the Vagina Recipes. Hopefully just in time for Mother’s Day.

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