The Heat is On

It’s jesusly hot outside in Toronto. Yesterday I got off the subway after work and thought it was the apocalypse – there was NO AIR. Like, none. So, we at TBS thought we would provide some stay cool solutions to get through these next few months. I have air con in my already cool basement abode, but some of my fellow TBS girls do not.

And thus, my guide to staying cool this summer:

  

  • Stuff your undies and bra full of ice. Or put them in the freezer. Sure, you’ll drip on the subway as you defrost/melt, but your fellow commuters will be distracted from the odour of their fellow passengers while they try and determine the mystery puddle at your feet.
  • Stand in the frozen foods section of your local grocer. Naked.
  • Sneak in to matinee movies. Or pay, whatever. Your call. Two hours of sweet air conditioned bliss.
  • Head to Canada’s Wonderland and spend the entire day under a big fountain in SplashWorks, or cut in line for the Zumba Flume. Bathing suit optional.
  • Head to Dufferin Mall. It’s less crowded than the Eaton’s Centre and while you enjoy cooler temps you can occupy yourself counting teenage mothers.
  • Take the Toronto Island Ferry over to the island and jump into the lake mid-way.
  • Loiter in office buildings. If it gets hot in the lobby, light a match under a smoke detector and wait for the sprinklers to activate. FYI prison is also air conditioned.
  • Wash your face with ice cream. Not recommended for those who are lactose intolerant.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s