The Bachelorette – Week 9

10 07 2012

Holy crapballs! Week 9 was a doozie! As always, stop reading now if you don’t want week nine spoilers (original air date – Monday, July 9, 2012).

So Emily and the final 3 in the Penis Parade – Jef, Arie and Sean – were in Curacao this week. The end game? Selecting her final two dudes. Pressure!

K, R and I watched the episode together and all agreed that Emily’s final three are really great guys – possibly the best men in Bachelorette history.Lucky girl. Any one of them would be a great fiancé/husband/father figure for Emily’s daughter Ricki. How to choose!?

The episode kicks off with a refresher on the final three bros. The highlights:

Sean: Blonde. Hot body. ‘Perfect’.

Jef: Quirky (are we calling skinny jeans and converse ‘quirky’ now?), adorable, makes Emily laugh.

Arie: Hottie hot hot hot, great kisser, hottie hot hot hot.

Then there’s a stupid beach walk montage where Emily writes her name in the sand. I screamed “SHE’S GOING TO PUT A PLUS SIGN THEN A QUESTION MARK! WATCH! I JUST KNOW IT!” And she totally did. Am I psychic? Nope. I’m simply not….headless. Saw that one coming a mile away.

Emily’s first fantasy date-with-overnight potential is with Sean. Adorable, hard bodied, sweet, “perfect,” slightly boring Sean. He shows up wearing the shit out of a tight blue v-neck and some salmon-coloured shorts. I grunt at the TV screen for about 5 minutes.

A helicopter whisks our super blonde twosome off to a private island. Upon arrival, they lay out a picnic…and their feelings. See what I did there? Sean basically repeats word for word the story of his ex-girlfriend that he’s ALREADY TOLD HER. “I loved her but I wasn’t in love with her.” Blah blah, yeah Sean we’ve heard it before take off your shirt if you’re going to keep yapping. Sean is the only dude left who hasn’t told Emily that he loves her. Can you really blame the stud? She’s dating two other people after all,

Later at dinner, Sean reads Emily a letter he wrote to her daughter Ricki. It’s a good letter. R and I may have gotten a bit teary eyed and I was only one Palm Bay in so it was not alcohol-induced emotion. It was more…alcohol adjacent. And then Emily gets what she’s been waiting for. Sean tells her: “I’ve fallen in love with you.” Booyah!

It appears that Sean is going to be handsomely rewarded for this admission when Emily presents him with the fantasy suite card. [For those new to the show, it's a card that basically invites a dude over to your place to get in a hot tub and then most likely get it in, but no one can call you on it and it's not slutty because the card was written by a producer on some pretty pricey card stock. The more you know!] I immediately predict that Sean won’t stay the night. He seems a little proper for that and frankly I’m leaning towards Emily deciding that ultimately a night of (vanilla) sex with Sean isn’t worth the potential impact on her squeaky-clean perfect mother image.

After making out in a hot tub for awhile, Emily and Sean (regrettably) part ways for the evening. She says she doesn’t want to be a bad role model but I know a part of her has to be dying to get Sean into bed just to see what’s up.

Next up is (my future husband) Jef. He only needs one ‘f’ because he’s better than all other men. Or something. The theme of Jef and Emily’s date is ‘sailing and hugs’. They talk family (Jef says his parents were bummed to have not met Emily on the home town date but are looking forward to meeting her), fatherhood (Jef would totes be the ‘fun’ dad) and ‘getting each other’. Oooooh Jef’s got it bad and Emily is totally a smitten kitten. If I met Jef and Emily, separately, in real life I would never think of them as being a match but somehow it fits.

At dinner, Jef is all about the questions. Suddenly, he’s Mr. Practical. Where would they live? Why did Emily’s previous relationships fail? Does Emily think him and Ricki would get along? Emily’s answers are (in order): 1) Wherever Jef wants; 2) No spark; 3) He’d be a perfect fit. And you know what? I think he would. Emily tells Jef she can picture them like, hanging out in the kitchen making lunches and stuff. Cute city.

Time to deal with the fantasy suite card. Now, Jef wears some pretty tight pants so there’s not the same mystery as there is with Sean (wink). “Bang him, bang him,” I may have chanted. But before Emily can turn Jef down, Jef turns Emily down. As much as he’d like to strip down to just his converse with Emily, Jef knows that her daughter may watch and their families will watch and it’s just not the time. Besides, Jef points out, they have the rest of their lives to be together in their own fantasy suite of life.

Dreamy sigh.

Arie’s turn. Oh Arie. We ♥ Arie. Handsome, good kisser, race car driving Arie. Their date involves a ton of making out and swimming with dolphins. They spend so much time kissing (it’s their favourite thing!) that Emily worries she won’t be able to turn Arie down for an overnight. #BacheloretteProblems

In her pre-dinner interview, Emily worries that perhaps things are too physical with Arie and they should spend more time, like, talking about stuff. So once they sit down to eat (well, Arie eats – has anyone actually seen Emily eat?), Emily is determined to figure out the day-to-day Arie to see if they could be compatible when their faces aren’t glued together. AND BOY DOES ARIE PULL THROUGH. I actually clapped, that’s how perfect Arie is.

He’s the whole package: physical chemistry, totes in love with Emily, not shy about saying he wants to get married and he even aces the kid stuff saying that he would first approach Ricki as a friend before even trying to be all parent-y. Emily is even surprised at some of the stuff Arie was saying, and I bet she’s breathing a sigh of relief that he’s more than just a great ass awith mad make-out skills. He’s got some substance too! Emily knows that she shouldn’t even tempt herself by having Arie drop by her place so she doesn’t even mention the fantasy suite overnight date card. She could teach a class in restraint, this one.

So now that Emily has gone on day-long dates with the final 3 in her Penis Parade, it’s time to make a big decision. And Emily turns to her BFF (I want them to be): host Chris Harrison. Emily is struggling with her decision. They’re all great guys (they really are), ya di ya di yada. Emily’s only hope is that she wakes up the next morning not regretting her decision.

So here’s how R, K and I broke it down.

Sean

Pros: Dependable, perfect, husband material. He has a really hot body and finally dropped the ‘L’ word. Sean would make a great dad, and they would totes make super cute blonde babies together.

Cons: Maybe a bit boring and predictable, and Emily seems to like a guy with a bit of an edge. Also, not a lot of heat when they kiss.

Jef

Pros: They’re really cute together and he makes her laugh. Jef’s a romantic guy and wants to “marry the f!@#” out of Emily. Though he may come off as a bit ‘young’, that youthful energy is one of the things Emily likes best about him as a potential husband and father.

Cons: This is tough for me because Jef seems perfect and I want to have his babies. I guess if I had to pick something it would be that perhaps he seems a little caught up in the ‘idea’ of love and the romance of it all but would that translate to commitment outside of the show when day-to-day  life sets in?

Arie

Pros: Everything.

Cons: Nope.

Ok fine. I have to say one con I guess. During dinner, Arie confessed that his life involves a lot of dinners out with friends and sleeping in until 9 a.m. Would his lifestyle mesh with Emily’s go-go-Supermom-life? Could be  a problem. But the kissing! The glorious kissing! They can get a nanny.

Chris Harrison reminds Emily (as if she needed the reminder) that this is THE LAST ROSE CEREMONY and that the next step is a potential engagement. Then Emily has to watch video messages each of the guys made for her, and she does a lot of crying. THEY ALL SAY ALL THE RIGHT THINGS. Some combination of ‘I love you’ and ‘I want to be a dad for Ricki’ and ‘we fit so well together’. Tough choice ahead. Emily is sick at the thought of breaking someone’s heart tonight.

When the rose ceremony begins, Emily forgoes her usual long speech thanking them for being there and blah blah blah. Instead, she only tells them that she can see herself ending up with each of them and that she’s sorry that she has to say goodbye to someone tonight.

My prediction was that frontrunner Arie would get the first rose and that it would be a tense toss-up between Jef and Sean (and I wasn’t sure how that would shake out, though I was leaning towards Sean going home).

So imagine my surprise when the first rose goes to Jef. R looked completely panicked at the thought of Arie being sent home and shrieked “I WILL STOP WATCHING THIS SHOW IF ARIE GOES HOME!!!” But…the first rose going to Jef made it 100% obvi to me that Sean was going home. There was NO WAY it was going to be Arie. So in trying to create suspense by giving the first rose to Jef, the producers actually created the reverse effect and made it painfully obvious that Arie would make it to the final and Sean would be sent packing.

The second rose indeed goes to Arie, and Emily walks Sean out to say their final goodbyes. They sit on a bench and…crickets. After what feels like the world’ longest silence, Sean confesses he feels stupid and embarrassed. Emily just cries and tells Sean she wanted it to be him “so bad.”  Sean, being the nicest guy ever, tells Emily that he’s crushed but just wants what’s best for her in the end.  That guy is going to get laid so much when he gets home he’ll probably have to quit his job.

In his van ride to Broken Heart Town (or Sad Sack Village? Lonely Cove?), Sean confesses that when Emily had walked into the rose ceremony that night he looked at her and was sure she was going to be his wife. Ouch. I knew Sean would be all class all the way. He’s not the type to confront Emily angrily or dump on the other dudes in the car ride out.

So it’s down to Jef and Arie. And they’ve been buds since the early days. Kudos to them for always being super friendly and bro-mancing the shit out of each other. I want them both to win. Or both to lose so I can date them. I’m so conflicted.

Next week is the ‘Men Tell All’ episode, so we’ll have to wait two weeks to find out who Emily ends up with….though the editing of the preview for the finale kinda tried to make it seem like Emily picks no one. Don’t fall for it. This girl wants to get married. SHE WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN WITH THE POWER OF HER FAKE BOOBS AND TEETH VENEERS.

Oh and if you weren’t already in love with Arie, these outtakes from last night’s episode will set.you.over.the.edge.

x


Comments : 1 Comment »
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Categories : Musings, Television

Curacao Trip

19 02 2012

My fabulous tan is starting to fade and I’m no longer craving breakfast daiquiris, so the time has come to share some photos from my trip to Curacao.

Along with my friend H and her friends J and P and their adorable 6 year old son, we stayed at the Breezes resort in Curacao from January 22-29. It is the only all-inclusive resort on Curacao and I can’t recommend it enough. I was a little nervous because I had read several negative reviews prior to our trip, but I can honestly say that the complainers must be bat-shit crazy because I enjoyed every aspect of this resort and I’m not typically an all-inclusive vacation type of gal. J and P like this resort so much that this was their third visit. I had previously done the AI thing in the Dominican Republic with MM about 8 years ago (THE WORST) and Cancun 6 years ago with my cousin (waaaayyyy better), but since that time I had really fallen in love with trips focused on culture, history, food and a little adventure (Tokyo, Amsterdam, London, Chicago, Paris, Costa Rica, NYC, etc.). After a beyond-hectic couple of months at work I realized that what I really needed was to recharge my batteries and just sit on a beach somewhere for a week with a book and really unwind – not have to think about cooking or schedules or museum hours or dinner reservations. I will admit that I was worried I would get a little bored of the whole beach thing after a few days but I really didn’t. I was ready for 7 days of sun, sand, buffets and blended boozy drinks!

Upon landing in Curacao, we were guided to the Sunquest desk and given our room info and our plastic Breezes bracelets that identified us as guests at the resort. A 20 minute air-conditioned shuttle bus ride later – we were in paradise.

Beach view

Sail away...

On the resort

Pools I never swam in

Our rooms were located in the Pelican wing. A number of the reviews I had read claimed that this was the best wing to be in. I can’t say for sure, but I had no complaints! We had requested a ground floor room through our travel agent, so we had patio doors that opened to a little patio set and right onto the beach. Two huge comfortable beds, plenty of drawers, a massive TV that seemed to always be playing Friends or Big Bang Theory (yay!), and a huuuuuge shower. Our cleaning lady was absolutely lovely (we left her about US$3-5 per day) and the one issue we had (large towels weren’t replenished one morning) was quickly resolved. What I really liked about the area we were in beach-wise was that it was the best area to walk out into and snorkel right off the beach. The Pelican wing also had its own bar with a grill and was a little quieter because it was away from the main pool/bar/buffet/disco area.

After a quick lunch at one of the beach grills, we promptly slathered ourselves in sunscreen and hit the beach. My fellow travellers are huge snorkelling fans and I had bought a cheap mask and snorkel for the trip from Winners. After a few shaky minutes adjusting to breathing through my mouth without the fear of swallowing water, I fell in love with snorkelling and it was definitely a highlight of the trip. This resort is known for its amazing snorkelling right off the beach – there’s even a rock wall a ways out that keeps the larger waves and sharks out but keeps a shit ton of cool fish and plant life in. The water is so clear you can see all the way down. It really was amazing.

I ♥ Snorkelling

Little Mermaid-ing it

Fishies

Sergeant Majors

The food thing is typically the same at all AI’s: one main buffet for breakfast and lunch, a few grills or snack bars for lunch, and dinner at the buffet or one of 2 or 3 restaurants on site that you book upon arrival (typically, you are allowed to visit each restaurant only once). It was the same at Breezes. The buffet breakfast was fantastic – pancakes, bacon, eggs made to order and an omelette bar. It was good every day. For lunch, I preferred the beach grills over the buffet only because I fell in love with the cheeseburgers and veggie burgers (the best I’ve ever eaten, hands down). The serve yourself nachos and cheese was also amazing…a little too addictive. They also had krokets which are Dutch and I loved them – they were even better than the ones I pick up at Dutch stores around Toronto – as well as chicken nuggets, french fries and stuff like that. But the lunches at the buffet were always good too. For dinner we booked the three restaurants (Italian, Japanese and a beach steak house). J and I skipped the beach steak house as she is a vegetarian and I rarely eat red meat or meat at all on vacation unless it’s a cheeseburger or some chicken. And this resort was big on fish which was amazing. I did not have one bad meal the entire week. If I had one complaint, it’s that I ate too well. The Japanese restaurant was my favourite – we sat right at the grill and watched our food being cooked. So yummy.

As for the bar situation – I never had to wait long for a drink. As I mentioned above, our wing had its own bar and grill so that was super convenient. I woke up around 7 or 7:30 each day and would slip out our patio doors onto the beach and claim a great little shaded section of beach chairs with a thatched hut above. That was about a 3 second walk from the bar. I’m nothing if not strategic. A recurring complaint I read about the resort was that the drink cups were small. I agree, they were. So I would order two at a time. No biggie. I saw a lot of people had brought their own insulated mugs and the bartenders were more than happy to fill them. Our bar did run out of certain types of liquor or mix throughout the day. Again, no biggie – I just asked for a recommendation from the bartender and I always got great drinks. I’d never been a huge fan of pina coladas but I did a complete 180 on that! The resort bars also did a ‘Drink of the Day’ and those were always super tasty. And usually blue in colour because of the Curacao liqueur they use. Yup, that’s where it comes from!

Lots of love for our daily beach spot!

Squinty

On our first day at the resort, H and I signed up for the Introduction to Scuba Diving course and booked it for two days later. It’s free! This resort really appeals to divers because not only can you get certified in a few days in Curacao, but anyone who is certified qualifies for one free tank per day. There are certified instructors on site who are happy to take people out as well for a fee. The night before our lesson  I started to get a bit nervous. And I was super thankful that I hadn’t gone ahead and booked (and paid) in advance to do the full course and certification. I was a bit worried I may chicken out. And chicken out I did! After carrying what felt like 80 pounds of equipment on my back to the pool in a skintight wetsuit for our pre-ocean pool lesson (in front of guests at the resort lounging by the pool and just staring at us), I didn’t even make it through the pool portion. I kind of knew I wouldn’t make it during the ‘school’ part where the instructor talked about all the things you had to do while lowering into the ocean or coming up and the equipment and the breathing and…and there were just so many things to remember, not to mention the whole BEING UNDERWATER part which is panic-inducing enough. Our first instructions in the pool were to sink to the bottom of the shallow end and just breathe – and if we could stay there for 3 minutes without panicking we were good to go. I was not good to go. I popped up (another guy did the same about 2 seconds before me – it’s always easier to bail with a partner), apologized to H, accidentally grabbed someone else’s fins and did the sad walk of shame back to the dive shop. I made my way to my little beach oasis, waited for the bar to open, and let a strawberry daiquiri at 10:30 a.m. soothe my soul. Oh, and I snorkelled solo for the first time for over 2 hours and that’s when I really fell in love with it. J and P got certified later in the week (they’re so cool) and H finished the intro class and went for a dive later in the week. She is now thinking about getting her certification too. So proud of her.

On our last full day at the resort, we hopped on the shuttle bus to the city of Willemstad. It was adorable and looked so much like Amsterdam, one of my favourite cities in the world. The shopping is definitely geared towards women and the cruise ship crowd – jewellery, high-end clothing and watches. I had a hard time finding an affordable souvenir shop and in the end I probably paid way more than I should have for a shot glass that says ‘Dushi’ on it (I know, right? I laughed too but in Curacao it means ‘I like it’), a cup and a spoon for my mom. I actually liked the souvenirs available at the airport better, and they were about the same price.

On the (windy) bridge in Willemstad

Willemstad

Our flight left around noon and we had booked our airport shuttle for 10:30 a.m.(the last available one), so that we could enjoy as much time on the resort as possible. We got to say goodbye to our favourite bartender ‘Baby Love’ who made a special drink for H and I (and she did it a little sneakily because technically the bars opened at about 10:30 and we were there earlier but everyone boarding the bus was hoping for one last drink to go!) She made us Banana Monkeys and H and I sipped them forlornly while dragging our luggage through reception. I was so sad to leave, but as mentioned above I found some great souvenirs at the airport and a really cute purse for US$10. The piece de resistance was purchasing a 1 litre bottle of Grey Goose for $37.  I’m completely obsessed with Grey Goose and I love a good deal. Thrilled.

One last note – for anyone reading this who might have kids, J and P said that this resort has the best Kids Club they’ve ever come across. I can believe it. Their son loved it so much that when H and I would try and take him our of the club to hang out with us for a bit and eat or swim while J and P were at their scuba lessons, he would often say no and opt to eat with the Kids Club. The people were super nice, they were open from about 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. (with a break between 5 and 6), and the kids were kept very busy.

Sigh.

I want to be back there.

Sunset

Stuff I bought:

Stuff I bought

  • Peach-coloured purse – $10 at Curacao airport
  • Curacao spoon for my mom
  • Mug
  • Sunglasses – $5 at Curacao airport
  • Citrine earrings ($10) and matching necklace (free) from a jewellery shop in Willemstad
  • Postcard
  • Fridge Magnet
  • I ♥ Curacao sticker
  • Snorkel and mask
  • Decorative shells
  • ‘Dushi’ shot glass
  • Perfume from the Perfume Factory in Willemstad that smells like fresh ocean air

Comments : 3 Comments »
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Categories : Food & Drink, Musings, Travel

Bits & Pieces

3 02 2012

Yo yo yo,

This has felt like the longest week ever – anyone else? And I was only in the office for three days. I guess that’s what happens when you get back from an amazing vacation (Curacao post coming soon!) and experience withdrawal from sunshine and pina coladas and unlimited bacon.

Sigh.

Anyhoodle – hope y’all have a great weekend. I’m looking forward to the Super Bowl on Sunday. Not so much for the football aspect, but for the nachos and beer that usually accompany it, natch. I also enjoy randomly shouting “PENETRATE THE BLITZ!” at various points throughout the game, but I don’t know what it means.

Here are some bits and pieces that made my week:

  • I love Mumford & Sons so hard. I also crush on Taylor Swift. So Taylor singing ‘White Blank Page’ ?- all over it.
  • This video completely blew me away – and it was filmed in a Toronto bookstore called Type Books!
  • I would definitely consider extending my next trip to NYC a little to take advantage of one of these weekend getaways.
  • How to look cute in the cold. The temps in Toronto have been somewhat mild of late (booyah), so I’ve been getting by with my spring coat, a scarf, and my Hunter rain boots. But I have a feeling that by next week I’ll be burrowing back into my trusty 3-year-old Aritzia parka. Blerg.
  • I’ve been loving the “Shit ‘whoevers‘ Say” videos popping up all over the interweb. This one might be my favourite. I highly doubt anyone would be interested in a ‘Shit law Firm Marketers Say’ video but that won’t stop me from making one. Consider yourself warned.
  • I’d literally shit myself. But damn, these are some amazing pictures.
  • Dr. Who – 47 years in 6 minutes. The nerd in me squeed a little. Also, this was a helpful catch-up given that I’ve only very recently gotten into Dr. Who (solely due to Matt Smith) but have seen some David Tennant episodes too that I liked.
  • I don’t have an iPhone (gasp!) but I can completely appreciate the hilarity of auto correct. This site is my favourite new time waster.
  • Oooh tea party!
  • Yup, it’s a tumblr featuring a dog with food on its head. Simple. Hilarious. And I think it’s kind of genius.

xo


Comments : 2 Comments »
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Categories : Books and Book Reviews, Culture & Celebrity, Fashion and Style, Food & Drink, Musings, Television, Travel

Countdown to Curacao

10 01 2012

In a few short weeks I’ll be heading to Curacao for a week of awkward sunburns, drunk reading, and some snorkelling. I may even do some scuba diving, but I’ll have to see how the snorkelling goes first. I’ve not done either, and it may turn out that I’m as scared of being underwater for extended periods of time as I am of clowns and perms.

I’ve already started to plan my packing (yes, I do this). I wish I could be one of those people who throws some bathing suits, sunscreen and a pair of flip-flops into a backpack and call it a day, but I’m not. Despite my laissez-faire attitude when it comes to wearing makeup (almost never) and brushing my hair (you don’t want to know), and packing cute outfits (only if I know someone is bringing a camera), I like to have my stuff with me. Even if I don’t use it. My trusty neon pink Hays suitcase (pictured below next to K’s when we were off to Tokyo a few years ago) is a 4-day to 1-week sized suitcase if I pack smart. It’s also super easy to spot on a conveyor belt, natch.

My suitcase - right

I’ve stocked up on sunscreen and I bought some cheap snorkelling gear from Winners (let’s hope it works!). Now I’m amusing myself with google image searches of ‘Curacao.’

Curacao

I don’t know who this little freak is, but if she’s there when I’m there I will kick her down mid-cartwheel.

I won't be doing this in Curacao

Here’s the capital city of Curacao – Willemstad. How Dutch and adorable! Kind of like me. Snort.

Willemstad - the capital city of Curacao

Can’t. Wait.

More Curacao. Am I there yet?


Comments : 4 Comments »
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Categories : Travel

« Previous Entries


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 405 other followers