Recap: The Bachelorette: Week Seven (episode 8)

Stop reading now if you don’t want spoilers on week seven (episode eight) of The Bachelorette with Kaitlyn Bristowe (original air date: Monday, June 29, 2015).

Welcome back rose lovers! When we last saw our Bachelorette she was inviting Shawn into her hotel room. Shawn’s all sad face this week because apparently Kaitlyn has told him off-camera that he’s “the one,” so he doesn’t love the fact that she’s still, you know, dating a bunch of other dudes. You know, like the entire point of the show. What Shawn (thankfully) doesn’t know is that Kaitlyn banged (“was intimate with”) Nick who is Shawn’s nemesis of late. Shawn asks Kaitlyn if she’s in love with him, and after telling him that it’s not fair to be put on the spot like that she cutesy-voiced tells Shawn that she’s “falling in love” with him. Nothing reassures a bro like a solid hotel room makeout, and he leaves Kaitlyn’s room uplifted, beer in hand, to rejoin the man harem. “The guilt comes from where my relationships are with other people,” Kaitlyn says in her private interview. She then ugly cries all the feelings. “My heart would break if Shawn left.”

The next morning, Nick and Tanner are strolling the grounds of their Dublin, Ireland hotel while Shawn – doing a pitch perfect rendition of a ‘needy girlfriend’ type – broods on some nearby steps.

Kaitlyn embarks on the uber-awkward two-on-one date with JJ and Joe. “I’m my biggest enemy,” JJ declares, and hints that he has some truth bombs to drop on our Bachelorette later. He’s been less “villains gotta vill” in the past few weeks, but no amount of Irish Spring can wash away all traces of douche. Joe’s the kind of guy that you would have a slight crush on if you were co-workers, and you’d have a makeout at the office holiday shindig and then spend the next six months awkwardly avoiding eye contact at the coffee machine. Otherwise he’s kind of forgettable and overshadowed by Nick, Shawn, Ben H. and Jared who are my predictions for final four. The two-on-one dates are of the ‘there can only be one’ variety – one man will be sent packing before the evening is up. Sweet, Southern Joe has had very little screen time this season. All we know about him is that, according to Kaitlyn, he’s an amazing kisser. “I can’t get enough of you Kaitlyn, because I’m falling in love with you,” declares Joe during some private time, coming completely out of nowhere. The dude’s never even had a one-on-one date with Kaitlyn. Ah, the heightened emotions of the Bachelor/Bachelorette world.

When JJ gets his time alone with Kaitlyn he reveals that he cheated on his former wife three years earlier. “Shocking!,” says absolutely no one. “I’m building this relationship with you…if a long-term relationship comes from this I want to be so upfront and honest,” JJ tells Kaitlyn, as an explanation for his confession. Decision time: Kaitlyn launches into a speech saying that she hasn’t really had a lot of time with Joe buttttttt she doesn’t really see a future with JJ and feels bad keeping him away from his daughter. So JJ is sent packing (and is quite  gracious about it) but Joe isn’t safe from being sent home in the sad sack limo either, as Kaitlyn doesn’t give him a rose either…yet.

Standing on a beach, JJ literally watches Joe and Kaitlyn sail off into the sunset together while he waxes poetic about finding love. Peace out JJ. Kaitlyn likes that Joe lifts her spirits, which is something she’s needed this week. No amount of Guinness can soothe her soul, apparently.

Meanwhile, Shawn is lurking in the shadows talking about how hard this all is, watching the gal he loves dating other men. Because apparently he has selective amnesia about the entire point of this show. Shawn reiterates that during an off-camera moment in Texas, Kaitlyn conveyed that he was “the one”, so he’s all “this is so tough” watching her build relationships and form strong connections with other men. “I’m just worried that I might lose her,” Shawn says. “It might have been better for me to not even know how she was feeling.”

Joe returns, date rose in hand (success!), and tells everyone that he’s falling in love with Kaitlyn. This (obviously) sends Shawn into yet another “brutal” sad spiral. “She just makes me feel something I’ve never felt before,” Shawn offers by way of explanation for his heightened emotional state. I mean, the boy can’t even eat y’all.

An exhausted Kaitlyn is back in her room recording her private interview when she is informed that Shawn is (once again) making his way to her suite. I mean, at this point just give the guy his own key. Kaitlyn for realsies rolls her eyes at the news, though this appears to have less to do with Shawn’s persistence in seeing her alone and more about her living in almost constant panic that he will learn that she was “intimate” with Nick and Irish exit out of there. She paces around her room in a nervous fit before finally letting Shawn in. She breaks down crying, telling Shawn she’s “having a rough time.” After their conversation the previous night she’s terrified that he wants to bail.

Shawn brings up the now infamous “off-camera” time they spent in Texas (if she did sneak down as she’s alluded to, are the producers super pissed?) and the fact that Kaitlyn had apparently conveyed that he was the one. Kaitlyn is super-relieved that this isn’t turning into a break-up chat. “Maybe I’m at fault for reassuring you so much,” she admits. Basically Kaitlyn tells Shawn that this is part of the process and he better suck it up, buttercup. “I haven’t been (as reassuring) with other people,” she tells him, and no one else is walking about in a constant state of pout-iness and barely-contained jealousy. “You have to focus on..that this is the rest of our lives,” Kaitlyn emphasizes. “The more reassurance you give me the harder it is for me,” Shawn confesses, biting his nails. “I want to work on being better at this…I want you more than anything,” he ends, basically speaking right to all of Kaitlyn’s lady bits.

Time for another COCKtail party full of love confessions and regrets. Kaitlyn admits in her private interview that her reassuring Shawn in San Antonio (where she now outright confesses to “sneaking” down to see some of the men) was “a mistake”. Conveying to Shawn that he was “it” has caused a total mindfuck on his end. “I shouldn’t be doing that because I do have feelings for a lot of other guys.” In retrospect, in trying to comfort Shawn and in feeling in that moment like she could see herself with him she created 99 problems (but a douche-y JJ ain’t one). A shaky-voiced Bachelorette addresses her man harem, saying her feelings are “all over the map.” “I make mistakes…my heart is still open,” Kaitlyn announces.

A very nervous Kaitlyn is quickly (and gratefully) whisked away by Ben Z. Ah “handsome, manly” Ben Z. He started so strong but has kind of faded into the background these last few weeks. They cozy up under a blanket on a bench and sip wine and kiss a little. Later, my boyfriend Ben H. (whom Kaitlyn refers to as a “handsome devil”) scores some solo time with the Bachelorette, and she adores his sweet and funny side. Ben H. takes the conversation to a more serious place, saying that he senses something is going on between her and Shawn that is perhaps more intense but he “doesn’t want to know details.” He only wants to know if he has a chance. Ben H. even pinpoints the exact night when he felt something shift, and it’s the infamous “off-camera” night. Kaitlyn gets super emotional about it and admits to feeling “extremely disappointed” in herself. “That night really altered something for me, and not in a great way,” she cries. “Thank you for not jumping to any conclusions,” Kaitlyn wraps up before making out with my boyfriend.

Later, we learn that Kaitlyn remains “terrified” that Nick will reveal their “intimate” encounter to the other men. “If they’re gonna know, I want it to come from me,” her voiceover states. Kaitlyn tells Nick that he can talk about the date but not about how romantic it was. He tries to reassure her that he never used words like “intimate” to describe their date, but if you read my recap of last week’s episode you know that’s not true. He said intimate. Then he cries, and tells Kaitlyn they “want the same thing” and all her fears seem to evaporate. “Nick’s emotions were so sincere tonight…and I believe him,” gushes our Bachelorette.

Later, Shawn and his super blue suit apologize to Kaitlyn for contributing to her tough week, saying he got in his own head and drove himself crazy. Kaitlyn says that sneaking down to chat with him in Texas was not her best idea ever. Their relationship “bump” seems to be haunting Kaitlyn more than Shawn, who just wants it to be glossed over. “It just messed everything up,” she emphasizes. “I feel like I’ve been unfair to you and everyone else…and myself,” Kaitlyn adds. After telling Shawn that she doesn’t want to “dismiss other relationships” she announces that they need to “take a step back.” Nothing like having your first fight televised to a national audience, eh?

After a pow-wow with host/discount therapist Chris Harrison, the rose ceremony finally happens and when the dust settles, placeholder Tanner and strapping Ben Z. are left rose-less. Hey, there are worse places to nurse a broken heart than Ireland! A “blindsided” Ben Z. tears up during his exit interview. Bro, with that body and those eyebrows you’ll barely be single for a hot minute. “This is a girl that my mom (who passed away when he was young) would’ve been proud to meet,” he says, melting even my cold, cold heart.

Onwards and upwards. It’s group date day and Kaitlyn’s dudes board a ‘Paddywagon’ to Killarney. Well, not Jared. He has been chosen to join Kaitlyn on a scenic drive. We see Nick and Shawn interact for what may be the first time, and no blood is shed. We also learn that Shawn is a snorer.

Kaitlyn and Jared have such a cute, natural connection and I love how he teases her about everything from her laugh to her driving. They test their fear of heights and death-by-choking-on-one’s-own-vomit to kiss the famous Blarney Stone. Jared then gets a tour of Kaitlyn’s hotel-castle room. “I love our chemistry and I love our banter,” Jared announces. Then we watch them make out. Cute city.

Chris “Cupcake”, Nick, Ben H., Shawn and Joe stroll through Killarney and Chris is particularly smitten with the town, stating that it’s “old and well-kept” and reminds him of his own “soul.” Groan. My soul is more ‘old man trying to send back soup in a deli’. Later, Kaitlyn and Chris Harrison have a heart-to-heart and she “regrets” what happened with Nick (all the sex), to which Harrison responds “we all screw up.” Kaitlyn has a tough decision to make: which men will move forward to hometown dates. Harrison announces a twist: whereas typically Kaitlyn would, this week, be narrowing six men down to four for hometown dates, she will be sending three men home (instead of two), spending off-camera time with each, and having overnights/Fantasy Suite dates with those three men. After those overnights, Kaitlyn will narrow her harem down to two men and only then will she meet their families. It’s all very math-y. Main bullet point? Everyone will have private off-camera time with our Bachelorette before hometowns and only the final two men will have hometown dates. I can only imagine the scrambling that the Bachelorette team had to do to reschedule all this given that the timing has now all changed. Is this decision forcing Kaitlyn’s hand or helping her make the best decision?

Harrison announces the scheduling twist to the remaining men and leaves them with the date card. Chris “Cupcake” gets a solo date card that involves a helicopter ride and a picnic on the picturesque Cliffs of Moher. Kaitlyn attempts to dig deep, asking Chris if he would want to stay in Nashville. He thinks Nashville is the perfect place to raise a family. Hint.

Kaitlyn starts to cry and then breaks the bad news: she’s just not that into you, Cupcake. “I have this check list and you’re it every time…but I also promised myself that I wouldn’t lead any relationship on…and my heart is elsewhere right now.” She tells Chris that she doesn’t see them together in the future. He’s super sweet about it, and tries to engage Kaitlyn in a dialogue to talk it out, perhaps thinking he can change her mind. Alas, Kaitlyn’s mind is firmly made up. They say their goodbyes atop the  cliff and Kaitlyn leaves Chris, dumped and alone, while she flies off in a helicopter. “Just looking at her, she’s a mess,” Chris cries. “I get it…I’m really scared too.” He paces perilously close to the edge of the cliff while a producer stands nervously nearby. Cupcake really starts to cry then. It’s hard to watch! And that’s where things end for the week: A crying Chris Cupcake on a cliff. It’s the Dr. Seuss of TV break-ups.

Next week: truth and consequences. Kaitlyn makes a sex confession (?), and the repercussions look – say it with me – dramatic.

Until next week!

Bits & Pieces

Happy Friday!

We’re heading into a beautiful weekend here in Toronto. Tomorrow I’ll be out on the Toronto Islands for Wanderlust 108, a “mindful triathlon” that brings together a 5k run, yoga and a guided meditation. And then Sunday I plan to eat all of the brunch. All of it.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend.

Here are a few bits and pieces that made my week:

  • Daydreaming about travelling through the Philippines after reading this.

xo

Recap: The Bachelorette – Week Six (episode 7)

Stop reading now if you don’t want spoilers on week six (episode seven) of The Bachelorette with Kaitlyn Bristowe (original air date: Monday, June 22, 2015).

Welcome back rose lovers! We pick up right where last week left off – with the men lounging about the lobby of the St. Anthony hotel in San Antonio, Texas and a super awkward convo between our Bachelorette Kaitlyn and Ian. Ian feels that he’s “pretty deep” but that his connection with Kaitlyn is “superficial.” Apparently, the other men in the house are all about fart jokes and movie quotes (hello soulmates!) and he’s just so above that. Ian went on the Bachelorette to “meet the girl who got her heart broken, not the girl who wanted to get her field ploughed by Chris (Soules – the most recent Bachelor)…I feel that you’re here to make out with a bunch of dudes on TV.” After calling her a “surface-level girl,” Ian reiterates how he basically came on the show to meet the broken shell of a woman who got her ass dumped on national TV. Don’t forget y’all – he went to Princeton. “I’m super offended by you,” Kaitlyn manages to say while somehow holding back from junk-punching Ian. “The fact that you’re sitting here calling me ‘surface level’…do you not think you’re being super offensive?” she half-shouts.

While she’s justifiably defending herself, Ian’s all lame-faced like:

IanSucks

Ian finally takes his leave and a livid Kaitlyn regroups, finding comfort on the couch with Nick. Ian hops into a waiting SUV and whines that he was punished for being an intellectual. He blabbers on about being “deep” and says he should be named Bachelor. Ian also claims that in the real world he doesn’t feel that women have trouble relating to him because he’s “too deep.” He does not mention whether woman have trouble relating to him because he’s a total douche-nozzle. Good riddance. Weird that Ian turned out to be one of the bigger douche b’s of the season, rivaling the ousted Clint and the still-in-contention for douche of the year JJ.

“My blood is boiling,” Kaitlyn tells Nick. He tells her he loves “what they bring out in each other” and tells her that if they should end up together he wants to know Kaitlyn inside out. The men notice that Kaitlyn has hidden away with Nick to lick her wounds, and Shawn – who in last week’s episode confessed to Kaitlyn that he was falling in love with her – starts to spiral.

Kaitlyn rejoins her man harem and gives them the lowdown on Ian’s shitty behaviour until host Chris Harrison arrives to announce the start of the rose ceremony. After the roses are handed out, the men sent packing in the sad sack limo are Justin and Joshua (finally!). Their goodbyes are drama free, and Chris announces that they’re off to Dublin, Ireland. Huzzah! Pubs, cathedrals, a pending sex scandal. Dublin has it all.

The men roam the streets and drink beer and cast shade at Nick, who gets the first one-on-one date in Ireland. “I hope Shawn has a screaming pillow in his room,” JJ deadpans.

On their date, Nick and Kaitlyn stroll around Ireland and can’t keep their hands off each other. There are street performers and birds (Kaitlyn is more terrified of the latter while nothing scares me more than street performers) and they buy Claddagh rings and make out in alleys. Kaitlyn and Nick have an undeniable connection and are very comfortable with each other. It feels as if Nick has been there from the start. “Right now where my heart is at, I want to figure it out with you” he tells her over pints at a pub. Kaitlyn fake worries that their chemistry is almost “too passionate” but makes out with him for hours in a bar anyways.

Back at the bro-tel, a group date card arrives and by process of elimination we learn that JJ and Joe will, later in the week, be going on the dreaded two-on-one date. The two-on-one has historically been the date where our Bachelor/Bachelorette picks two people who they’re pretty meh on and one gets sent home during the date. As far as I know, no one who has ever been on a two-on-one date has ever ended up with our Bachelor/Bachelorette (but please feel free to correct me in the comments – I’m not a Tanner-level Bachelor/Bachelorette expert!).

Back on their date, it’s night time now and Kaitlyn and Nick are pretending to eat dinner. “What I feel for you and what we have is such a magical feeling,” Nick gushes. Groan. They make out some more (have I mentioned their date is in a church) and he tells her that he’s “feeling her.” Yeah, we know. We’re not headless. They manage to stop sucking face for 7 seconds, during which she hands him the date rose. Kaitlyn declares that Nick makes her “feel like a woman.” Kaitlyn invites Nick back to her hotel to hang out for a bit. Just in case we weren’t clear about their crazy chemistry, Nick picks Kaitlyn up in the middle of the street so they can make out acrobatically.

Meanwhile, the other men in Kaitlyn’s harem are just hoping she’s “having a good time right now.” I’d say so! Shawn says he’s “still trying to get a read on Nick.” Jared says he hasn’t seen Nick and Kaitlyn interact. Well Jared, if you were to pop up to Kaitlyn’s room right now you would see more interaction than you could handle.

Kaitlyn and Nick head into the boudoir but they’re still mic’d. MY GOD WHY ARE THE CAMERA GUYS STILL IN THE ROOM?!?!  I only just manage not to do a spit take when Nick is picked up saying “I want to know every part of you.”

The next morning, Nick does the hotel walk of shame back to his room while Kaitlyn is all smiles on her balcony. “We deserved that time together,” she says. And then the guilt sets in. Hard. Not about the act itself, but about the other relationships that she has. Kaitlyn wonders aloud how she would have felt if Chris Soules and Britt had banged while she was vying for his heart last season. Kaitlyn also starts to worry that Nick might tell the other men.

Nick returns and has the biggest grin all over his face that practically screams “I got some!” For now, he keeps mum and only reveals that he hung out with Kaitlyn in her room after their date and that it was “intimate,” but manages to use that word casually and no one picks up any any sex shenanigans. Joe tells Nick that our Bachelorette also had some private time with Shawn after one of the group dates, which is news to me. I suspect that will come back later.

Kaitlyn has now entered the ‘of fuck what did I do’ phase of her guilt but it’s time to bottle up that noise and embark on the group date. The men are all suited up for their “morbid” date, and my boyfriend Ben H. says “I just feel better being alive when I’m around Kaitlyn.” Isn’t my boyfriend the best? Chris Harrison announces that Kaitlyn is dead…for today. Jared mourns the loss of Kaitlyn’s “terrible laugh.” Ha. Time to attend a traditional Irish wake. Oh shit Kaitlyn is in a coffin, grasping a flask (which she then hands to Chris Harrison). Kaitlyn’s the worst at playing dead, and never stops laughing. Harrison says that Irish wakes are about celebrating the person’s life and encourages the men to make a toast to Kaitlyn. Jared wraps up his speech by kissing the ‘corpse’, Chris “Cupcake” sings his sentiments, and Shawn says he would be dead too if he had to spend a full day with Nick. This last one illicits the biggest laugh from Kaitlyn. Ben Z. clears the room when his turn comes, and Kaitlyn worries that the wake date might not be the most appropriate for someone who lost his mom at a young age. Ben Z. keeps it fairly light-hearted and gives a cute speech, telling Kaitlyn she will always be in his heart. He wraps it up saying “want me to go get your other boyfriends?” Nailed it.

The evening portion of the group date is decidedly less morbid, with the men and Kaitlyn meeting up at the Guinness storehouse. Ben Z. is the first to score some solo time with our Bachelorette and he admits that the fake wake was hard on him. These two have lost some steam since their one-on-one date but Kaitlyn’s interest in this “teddybear” seems to be reignited, at least for the time being. Jared and Kaitlyn also share a cute moment where they mostly talk about all the other cute moments they’ve spent together.

Shawn is threatening (once again) to put his guard back up because of Nick (again) and Kaitlyn even comments that he seems off. Shawn shows Kaitlyn some family pictures, getting her right in the cuterus. Afterwards, he feels way more “confident” that he will get the date rose. Ultimately, the group date rose goes to an elated Jared. Shawn is gutted because, according to him, Kaitlyn has indicated that he’s “the one” so he was looking for validation in the form of a flower. Um, I don’t recall Kaitlyn ever saying he was “the one.” Just me?

As the recipient of the date rose, Jared joins Kaitlyn in a cathedral where the Cranberries are playing and suddenly I’m back in the 8th grade and loving every minute of it. Shawn is emotional and chatty and tells a producer that him in Kaitlyn snuck up to her room one night and stayed up talking for six or seven hours and she apparently told him “you’re the one.” He says he wouldn’t be able to handle her “banging” two other dudes in the Fantasy Suite. He returns the hotel to see Kaitlyn, who he feels is “ruining” everything they have, and mentions again the “off-camera time” they spent together. This must be what Joe was referring to earlier. He knocks at her door and lo and behold interrupts her eating. So this is when our Bachelorette actually eats! Our last shot is of Kaitlyn in her private interview breaking down crying and saying she “can’t do this anymore.” From the sneak peak of next week’s episode it looks like it will be tears, tears and more tears. We also catch up briefly with Britt who is chatting with her mom about Brady. Mom has just met Brady and thinks he seems like a great ‘friend.” Ah the ‘f’ word. Britt hopes her mom doesn’t mean ‘friend zone.’ She meant ‘friend zone,’ Britt. Clear. As. Day.

Until next week!

NatureBox Review

Back in March I posted about a new subscription snack service I had signed up for called NatureBox. I started with the free trial and received my first official delivery in mid-April, which I reviewed here.  I’m now three boxes in and am still really happy with my decision to subscribe.

As I mentioned in a previous post, highlights of NatureBox products (according to the company) include:

  • No high-fructose corn syrup (yay!)
  • No hydrogenated oils
  • No artificial anything, including colours, sweeteners and flavours
  • No added sulfites
  • Yes to high-quality, nutritious ingredients
  • Yes to thoughtful sourcing

My NatureBoxes contain five full-sized snacks that I have pre-selected and added to my online ‘Pantry.’ You can add extra items at an additional cost. Every few weeks I go into my Pantry and re-arrange the items I want in my next shipment based on what I’m craving (salty, sweet, or something more breakfast-y). You can go in any time and select items from your pantry to include in your next order with an easy-to-use drag and drop tool.

The items in my most recent NatureBox were Lemon Tea Biscuits, Praline Pumpkin Seeds, Cashew Power Clusters, Asiago & Cheddar Cheese Crisps and Sticks ‘n Stones.

may nature box 1

may nature box 2

 

 

Lemon Tea Biscuits: More like heaven tea biscuits. Snort. These were amazing. Small but satisfying, they had an amazing shortbread taste with just the right amount of lemon flavouring. I had a dream where I married one and had no regrets. These are super tasty as a snack or with actual tea. They make a great wine cookie. That’s a thing, right?

Praline Pumpkin Seeds: These were fine. I wasn’t wowed but I didn’t hate them. I shared them with a co-worker under the guise of being nice but I just wanted someone else’s opinion. She liked them.

Cashew Power Clusters: These are the kind of snack that takes me a month to get through. Perfect for when you’re starving in your apartment and it’s like 11 at night and everything’s closed and you’ve eaten all the peanut butter straight from the jar and you just need something sweet and satisfying to get you through ’til breakfast.

Asiago & Cheddar Cheese Crisps: I loved these so much I ordered them again for my next box. Crispy and packed with cheese flavour, these are my favourite NatureBox snack so far. I’m smitten. They’re the new black. I’m thinking of dressing up as one for Halloween.

Sticks ‘N Stones: A hearty nut mix, these were deliciously salty (not overly so) and I would order them again. I ate them on the subway one night heading home from work and the woman sitting next to me looked like she wanted to steal them, so I take that as a ringing endorsement.

And now I eagerly await my June box…

 

Note: This post is not sponsored. I am paying for my NatureBox subscription out of my own pocket. Speaking of pockets, my pockets were –  until I decided to try and make better snack choices – typically filled with the aforementioned goldfish crackers. I’ve been casually referring to pockets as CrackerPockets™ for years. Because that was the only thing I ever used my pockets for – a vehicle/storage centre for crackers. And then my friend told his niece that pockets were for crackers and now her mom probably hates me on laundry days. So really I’m doing this to save the pockets of small children from staining due to cheese dust (and also saving my denim jacket in the process). I’m practically a saint.

Recap: The Bachelorette – Week Five (episode 6)

Stop reading now if you don’t want spoilers on week five (episode six) of The Bachelorette  with Kaitlyn Bristowe (original air date: Monday, June 15, 2015).

Welcome back rose lovers! I just realized why our newest Bachelorette contestant Nick V. sounds so familiar. He has the same voice as Jason Segel, no? Anyhoodle, Nick V. enters the lion’s den (also known as the men’s bro-tel room). Resident Bachelorette Gossip Archivist/placeholder Tanner questions Nick about recently spending time with his former television girlfriend Andi. Nick confirms they met up but it was simply to “bury the hatchet.” Nice euphemism! But in all seriousness, the men are concerned that Nick V. is just here to get his 18th minute of fame or whatever, and it’s a fair concern. The grilling continues, and the men want to know how much Kaitlyn and Nick have spoken prior to him joining the other men on this ‘journey’ for Kaitlyn’s heart. Nick says it’s been texting and tweets and a phone call or two. Nick emphasizes that he “had to meet” Kaitlyn in person and totally understands why the men are bothered by his arrival. “I just hope you can respect why I’m here.” With the awkward intros out of the way, the men suit up and head into the COCKtail party at Citi Field where the Mets play or whatever.

Kaitlyn arrives and is feeling anxious to know what the ‘mood’ is with Nick joining the crew. She addresses her man harem to tell them that if they want to discuss anything with her they should feel free to do so. JJ is the first to score private time with our Bachelorette, and he picks her up and runs her around the four bases (again, not a euphemism). Later, having apparently moved on from his failed bromance with Clint, he tells Shawn that he’s the “most handsome guy here” but when he’s pissed his jaw gets all clenched and that ain’t pretty. When Tanner and Kaitlyn chat, he conveys that Nick “pussyfooted” around the Andi question back in the hotel room. Yawn-faced Joshua is one of Nick’s most vocal opponents but nobody cares what he has to say. Finally Shawn and Kaitlyn get some solo time and he drives it home that the arrival of Nick has caused his guard to go back up. Kaitlyn is mildly annoyed (understandably) that Shawn would let that happen given that she’s made it clear what a “strong connection” they’ve had since day one. She asks Shawn to hold her hand and then he says he wishes she were smarter (but quickly backpeddles) and adds that Nick is “full of shit.” Her convo with Shawn sends Kaitlyn into a bit of a tailspin. “I really like Nick but my worst nightmare has come true…maybe it was wrong to let Nick into the group.” Meaning, if Nick is going to eff up my chances of making out with Shawn forever and ever then maybe he’s not worth it.

Nick heads into the apparently sub-zero temperature rose ceremony not having had time to chat with Kaitlyn and knowing that the other dudes spent their time shitting on his presence, so he’s understandably nervous. Turns out there’s no need to be, as Nick receives the final (obvi) rose of the evening. With that, perfectly-scarfed Ryan, American Psycho-faced Corey and hot dad Jonathan are sent home.

Kaitlyn and her dwindling man harem depart New York for San Antonio, Texas. It says nothing flattering about Nick V. That JJ seems to be the only dude chatting him up. Our Bachelorette’s first one-on-one date of the week is with my boyfriend Ben H. – who gets picked up in an old truck that the men lose their shit over – and whisked off to ‘the oldest dance hall in Texas.’ They meet their dance teacher Debbie who will endeavour to teach the cute duo the two-step. Kaitlyn hopes the two have chemistry on the dance floor. A bunch of cute townsfolk are interviewed about how dancing = love and whatever. The dancing goes fine but they get tapped out in Round 2. Oh well, more time to drink beer and carve their initials into a wall and stare at Ben’s ridiculously handsome face. Seriously. It’s distracting.

Howdy.

 

Back at the bro-tel, the group date card arrives. By process of elimination, we learn that Shawn (who’s been pouty all week) will be getting the final solo date of the week.

On the evening portion of their date, Kaitlyn and Ben H. start to open up to each other over drinks. Turns out my boyfriend is only 26, something which Kaitlyn brings up in terms of ‘are you ready to be engaged?’ I AM OK WITH YOU BEING 26 BEN H. Just saying. Kaitlyn hands over the date rose while I start soft stalking Ben H. on the internets.

On her group date, Kaitlyn gets serenaded by a suave 12 year old named Sebastian who tells the dudes “I just won her heart over, now it’s your turn to try to take her heart back.” HA. The men are then forced to write and eventually perform mariachi songs under the tutelage of this pint-sized singing sensation. Kaitlyn hopes Ian’s sense of humour comes out while Joshua never stops talking to any camera nearby about Nick. During the singing contest, Joe asks Kaitlyn to mariachi him and Ian totally blows it despite actually having a decent singing voice. You can almost hear Kaitlyn’s attraction to him vaporize. Nick one-ups the dudes by singing to Kaitlyn on a balcony, crooning that their “connection” gives him an “erection.” Boom. Points to Nick.

Later on the group date Joshua asks Kaitlyn to cut his hair because she’s a “barber.” She razors him a perfect bald spot on the side of his head and he ends up with a sort of mohawk disaster situation going on. Everyone cracks up when they see his hair, and it’s a nice comic relief in an otherwise tense group of men. Nick and Kaitlyn quickly get to kissing while Joshua’s “guy intuition” continues to scream at him that Nick ain’t up to no good. Joshua’s “desire to be honest and truthful could be his downfall,” Ian predicts, while Joshua approaches Kaitlyn. Couldn’t Tanner – the resident Bachelorette historian – have warned his pal Joshua that being the guy who tries to worm his way into the Bachelorette’s heart by warning her about another dude immediately puts that dude into the friend zone? Every time. After speaking to Joshua, Kaitlyn is pissed off that none of the other dudes have expressed any strong feelings about Nick to her. So now she feels like a moron who is being lied to by all her boyfriends. There’s a weird sentence.

Joshua returns to the group and says he’s been in an interview, but they all know he was actually chatting with Kaitlyn. Meanwhile, she just wants them all to “be over” the Nick situation already. She joins the men and puts Joshua on the spot about what he revealed to her. Nobody cops to feeling the same as Joshua (probs because he seems to feel disproportionally upset about Nick given that him and Kaitlyn have, like, zero chemistry). Not a single guy. P.S. this entire conversation happens in front of Nick. A-W-K-W-A-R-D. Joshua’s misguided chivalry backfires totally, because Nick gets the date rose. Snap!

It’s finally time for Ryan Gosling-err.. I mean Shawn’s one-on-one date with Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn gushes that her connection with Shawn was immediate, with her being all like “whoa” when he get out of the limo on night one and panties across North America dropped in collective delight. He received the first impression rose, presumably because he’s just so good at getting out of limos. She also like his voice and smell. Hello pheromones! Thanks god we get to see Shawn in a bathing suit, as the two kayak attractively in the river. Over dinner, he talks about their crazy connection and how unexpected it was. He also reveals that he was in a terrible car accident five years ago and was in the hospital for months. The doctors said they’d never seen anyone survive an accident like that. Shawn’s just happy to be hanging out with Kaitlyn and, you know, alive. They make out for days and Shawn confesses that he’s falling in love with Kaitlyn (that was quick!). She reciprocates, saying she feels the same way. #BreakingAllTheRules “What I’m feeling right now is that was my husband telling me he loves me for the first time,” Kaitlyn says in her private interview. Date rose, meet frontrunner. Afterwards they watch fireworks but I fast forwarded because I’m terrified of them and would be peeing myself on that date.

Meanwhile, Ian wants to remind us that he’s a former model and athlete who cheated death. He’s a catch. He would make a great Bachelor. Hold up: Ian just pulled the #1 villain move on this show: the “I would make a great Bachelor” statement. Oh hells no Ian.

At the pre-rose ceremony COCKtail, Kaitlyn addresses her man harem and emphasizes that she wants to build their relationships from trust and honesty. She admits that the way the group date ended earlier in the week didn’t sit super well with her, and toasts to “honesty and tonight.” Kaitlyn and Jared stroll hand-in-hand to her suite and clearly these two have a great connection. “I don’t question you…or your intentions,” Kaitlyn tells him. In turn, Jared tells her that he feels like he’s falling in love with her. “That makes me really happy,” Kaitlyn whispers back.

Back at the COCKtail party, Ian says Kaitlyn is making him look bad because she’s not falling all over him. “Just pick one of the lames,” he tosses off. Ian thinks Ian is a wonderful catch and can’t fathom why Kaitlyn isn’t super into him. “I could be The Bachelor,” he states again. “Who I am is a gift you unwrap for life.” I hope that gift comes with a gift receipt. Ian also doesn’t find our Bachelorette interesting, apparently. And he gets a ton of sex in his own life so this is now boring as shit for him. Ian plans to go out “guns blazing.” When Ian and Kaitlyn finally talk, he tells her that he came here for love, not a vacation. After complaining about the poop jokes that are de rigueur in the house (which just confirms that I would fit in perfectly in that house), Ian tells Kaitlyn that he feels she’s just here to make out with a bunch of dudes on TV and is a “surface-level” person. And with that dropped bomb, we’re done for the week.

Next week promises to reveal Ian’s true douchebag nature and all the ‘did Kaitlyn bang one out with one of these dudes?’ drama you can handle. Until then rose lovers!

Recap: The Bachelorette – Week Four (episode 5)

Stop reading now if you don’t want spoilers on week four (episode five) of The Bachelorette (original air date: Monday, June 8, 2015).

Welcome back rose lovers! We pick up with Kaitlyn on douche patrol. Destination: Clint. She enters the house to whisk Clint away and confront him about the rumours swirling that he’s a world-class villain. Clint launches into a speech about his new BFF status with JJ. “This isn’t about your relationship with JJ,” Kaitlyn half-shouts. He claims that everyone in the house is “cool” with him, and Kaitlyn counters that she doesn’t trust him. She walks Clint back inside to say his goodbyes, where – shocker! – the apple of his eye JJ turns on him and demands that Clint apologize to the other dudes for “taking time and emotions” away from them. Clint looks more gutted about JJ’s actions than getting the boot from Kaitlyn. Clint and JJ have their own break-up and it goes…not great. By the end they’re swearing at each other and threatening violence and then Clint drops this: “Hey that tie goes really good with your shirt, you piece of shit.” HAHAHAHAHAHA. The end of “bro-back mountain” as the other men have coined them is officially the best break-up in Bachelorette history. Sadly, Kaitlyn still only sees Clint as the devil and appears to be blind to JJ’s all around ass clownery. Speaking of JJ, he’s busy crying and slapping himself in the face. Where’s all that “villain’s gotta vill” stuff now, JJ? After the drama of the evening, there’s relief in the mansion when Kaitlyn announces that she’s foregoing the rose ceremony. Chris Harrison tells the men to pack their bags because they’re all off to New York City tomorrow.

The men arrive at their Times Square hotel and shout at the city from a rooftop patio. Classic. The group date card arrives for Jonathan, Justin, Ben Z., Corey, Ryan, Tanner, JJ, and Shawn. Kaitlyn’s man harem stroll handsomely through the streets of New York in beautiful coats. Hip hop legend Doug E Fresh shows up and schools the men in the art of rap. Shawn is out of his element and admits that Blake Shelton is more his thing. His attractiveness drops 17%. Perhaps he can redeem himself in a rap battle? The men choose their battle opponents and it shakes out to be Shawn vs. (1994 hair) Justin, Corey vs. JJ, Jonathan vs. Ryan, and Ben Z. vs. Tanner. Doug E Fresh warns the men that New York crowds will accept no tom foolery and might throw a shoe. A SHOE. The rap battles themselves are boring, with the exception of Shawn and Justin. Shawn flashes us his memory-erasing abs and Justin accurately pegs them as the Ryan Gosling and Matt Damon of the group.

Afterwards, Kaitlyn makes her way through the fans to say hi to Ashley I., who also competed for the heart of Chris Soules last season. But Ashley I. isn’t the only Bachelor/ette alum in the crowd. Runner-up Nick V. from Andi Dorfman’s turn as The Bachelorette is there and Kaitlyn gets all giggly about it. Apparently they’ve “struck up a friendship over social media” as Bachelor/ette alum are wont to do. Nick is undeniably adorable and I loved him during Andi’s season…until he got dumped and turned into a douche-nozzle in the finale. It…wasn’t pretty. “The idea that you could potentially get engaged and I would not have met you…” Nick starts. Kaitlyn is obviously intrigued. Nick is gunning for a spot in Kaitlyn’s man harem, and she ponders his addition while sitting on a dirty staircase.

Later on the group date (which has shifted to a yacht) Kaitlyn drops the Nick V. news. Tanner asks Kaitlyn about her prior relationship with Nick. She tells the men that she’d never met Nick in person before today but admits they had chatted in the past. Shawn does not hide his distaste for Nick, asking if Kaitlyn is “looking for more”. Nick V. becomes “a cloud hanging over the group date,” according to Jonathan. While Kaitlyn walks away to do some thinking (and probs a lipgloss re-application), Tanner tells the men that Nick V’s behaviour at the end of Andi’s season was gross and wrong. Kaitlyn goes in search of Nick V. and they share a cute kiss. Ahoy Mateys! Nautical humour. Go with it.

Ultimately Kaitlyn puts the Nick thing on ice for the night, telling him she needs to “sleep on it”. Alternate suggestion: Sleep on Shawn. Back on the boat the tide appears to have turned (see what I did there?) and some of the guys (mainly Justin) seem more open to Nick joining the melee. He is awarded with the date rose. On that slightly sour note, Kaitlyn departs for the evening. Meanwhile, back at the bro-tel, a solo date card arrives for Jared.

The next morning finds a confused and emotional Kaitlyn calling Nick and mentioning the “intense” relationships she’s already developed with some of the men. She requests to meet in person following a hair appointment. And hey looky here Kaitlyn’s hairdresser is none other than nutty Ashley S. from Chris Soules’ season (blonde Ashley, not the raven-haired Kardashian lookalike Ashley I. who was at the rap battle). I don’t know what it says about me that I remembered Ashley S. was a hairdresser from Brooklyn but I often forget my own middle name. Kaitlyn swears Ashley is actually quite intelligent. I believe it but man oh man her behaviour on Chris’ season was bonkers. Google it. When Kaitlyn (sporting a kicky braid) meets up with Nick he immediately tells her he’s not looking to be the villain here. God why is that word all over this season?? Kaitlyn decides Nick can stay for now and he’s “psyched.” After another kiss, she heads off on her date with Jared.

Jared arrives for his date with Kaitlyn and he’s all fancy-dressed. Their date takes place at the MET. Jared is looking forward to “the best date ever,” but Kaitlyn’s mind is preoccupied with thoughts of Nick V. Jared is 100% IN and tells Kaitlyn she needs to do what she needs to do when it comes to letting Nick join the party. Jared wins for being understanding and also becomes the first person this season to bust out a poem (groan). Later they go on a helicopter ride and keen Jared gets the date rose.

Meanwhile, the next group date card arrives (“Let’s play!”) and it’s for Ian, Chris, Joe, Joshua, and Ben H. My husband Ben H. is all about making the best of his time with Kaitlyn and refuses to be all negative about the addition of Nick V. to the harem. Which is a weird thing to hear my future husband say but whatever. Kaitlyn arrives at the bro-tel the next day and tells the men that Nick is moving in tonight and will be part of the next rose ceremony, but won’t be going on a date this week. The energy in the room plummets and Shawn in particular is bummed and hurt. These mid-show pop ins never work out, but Nick has made it farther than most.

On the group date, it’s Broadway, baby! The men and Kaitlyn venture into the New Amsterdam Theatre on Broadway and meet the cast of the Aladdin musical. The dudes learn that they will be put through a ‘legit’ Broadway audition. JEALOUS! Aladdin was my favourite as a kid. The men take turns butchering “A Whole New World’ while hugging Kaitlyn. Executive Recruiter Ian performs the crap out of it. Handsome dentist Chris “Cupcake” is super animated and that face is definitely Broadway handsome. Apparently the ‘judges’ agree because he wins, thus getting to perform that night in front of 1800 people. Chris “Cupcake” claims this is the best thing that’s ever happened to him which gives me the sads. Clearly he’s never eaten a Glory Hole doughnut.

That evening Kaitlyn and Chris share a cute moment while preparing for their stage debut, all decked out in Aladdin-esque gear. Which reminds me how great nobody looks in harem pants. Chris confesses to “always going after the princess”. Kaitlyn and Chris are ushered on stage for their 13 second cameo, and then make out side stage briefly before an irate producer-type basically tells them to get the fuck out. They wander New York hand-in-hand and after going up “like 10,000,000 flights of stairs” they climb to the top of some building and  Kaitlyn strokes the ball. The New Year’s Eve ball that drops in Times Square each year. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Nick V. is a popular topic of conversation amongst the men back at the bro-tel, with Tanner even suggesting that perhaps Nick is ‘just in it for the spotlight’ and there’s even a rumour that Nick was actually dating Andi Dorfman since her split with Josh. He arrives at the hotel after the world’s longest elevator ride (with actual plinky elevator music playing), and it hits me that I basically dress the exact same as him. Like, we’re wearing the same outfit. I’ll deal with that later. The last thing we see is Nick entering the hotel suite…

Time to check in with rejected Bachelorette Britt and her boyfriend/stalker Brady. You’ll recall that Brady left the show after Kaitlyn won the title of this season’s Bachelorette over Britt in the first week. They’re totes boyfriend/girlfriend and enjoy frolicking on the beach and staring at each other. We learn that Britt is ready to introduce him to her family. Boom!

Until next week.

Recap: The Bachelorette – Week Three (episode 4)

Stop reading now if you don’t want spoilers on week three (episode four) of The Bachelorette (original air date: Monday, June 1, 2015).

Welcome back rose lovers! We pick up right where last week left off – with Kupah freaking the fuck out on Bachelorette producer Elan after being sent packing by Bachelorette Kaitlyn. She joins Kupah outside in an attempt to calm him down and talk some sense into him. Keeping it classy, Kupah says “I don’t even like her right know” as soon as she’s out of earshot. You know what Kupah? That feeling is mutual. Time to go.

Kaitlyn gathers herself and returns to address her man harem. “This is harder than I thought it would be,” she  says, echoing every single Bachelor/Bachelorette from the past 14,937 seasons (or so it feels). Host Chris Harrison arrives to announce the start of the rose ceremony. Time to send some more penises packing!

Tony has “the heart of a warrior and a gypsy soul” (pause for throwing up in your mouth), and  he left his dog and his bonsai trees behind to be here you guys. His bonsai trees. Hopefully the trees can survive without him for a bit longer because for reasons I will never understand he gets the last rose of the night. I have to wonder if by ‘gypsy soul’ he means warlock magic because I see no other reason than through sheer witchcraft as to how Tony could be endearing himself to our Bachelorette. In the end, no-socks Daniel and Cory get sent home in the Sad Sack Limo.

Bright and early the next morning, two sumo wrestlers on tiny bikes (I’m not joking) arrive at the Penis Pad to scream at the men and (un)gently stir them awake by hitting an actual gong. Oh Bachelorette producers, it’s like you live inside my brain. This is exactly how I would wake up a house full of snoring hungover men. After the date card is read, Clint, Chris, Tony, JJ, Joe, and Ryan Gosling (err..I mean Shawn) get kitted up in traditional sumo ‘diapers’ and present themselves and their barely covered asses at the pool. “I’m seeing junk everywhere,” says a not-at-all bothered Kaitlyn, watching the dudes run through a series of sumo exercises. After 5 minutes or so of blurred-ass fighting, ‘”peaceful, balanced guy” but weirdly over-confident about his sumo abilities Tony decides he isn’t into this date after all and stomps off in a pout. Kaitlyn goes to find him and he flat-out ignores her when she calls his name. Finally he deigns to turn around and shit on her for the aggressively-themed dates he’s been forced to go on. He mentions his ‘warrior spirit’ to her (ugh) and Kaitlyn explains that her intention is just to have fun. Also, KAITLYN DOESN’T PLAN THESE DATES YOU ASSCLOWN. “Can we not just take a boat ride?” he whines?. JJ decides he needs to intervene and yells at Tony which, despite their dislike of Tony, doesn’t sit well with the other men.

Later Kaitlyn goes to chat with Tony again. Even his stupid tiny man ponytail can’t keep her away for some reason. “I have a lot to offer,” he reminds her while yelling at her again, and tosses in that he’s not comfortable “reverting back to my primal instincts.” Tony chooses to sit out on the balance of the date. Kaitlyn is treating Tony like he’s attractive or in any way desirable. I’m confused. The rest of the men enter a round robin sumo competition which turns out to be less sexy than I had hoped. Meanwhile Tony is still yelling out alternate date suggestions (like the zoo) and decides to leave the show. Yays. He books it to the Four Seasons hotel where Kaitlyn arrives wearing the shit out of some leather pants and he hands her a garden flower and tells her that he “can’t participate in this circus anymore.” Tony does tell her that if she’s interested he can easily “be found.” My guess is in the bonsai section of Home Depot. See ya Tony. You’re the worst.

Sidenote: I’m obsessed with these sumo wrestler guys Yama and Byamba and if they had their own show I would for realises quit my job to join that production team. Or wash their outfits. I’m not picky.

Kaitlyn rejoins her group date and spends some solo time with Chris ‘Cupcake‘ who is undeniably adorable. Later, Shawn confesses that he’s falling hard and they make out. Kaitlyn gives him the date rose. Clint, who went on a one-on-one date with our Bachelorette last week, is kinda pissy about it and wants Kaitlyn to make more of an effort to speak to him. Um, Clint, that’s not how this show works. She calls him out on practically ignoring her on the whole date and his response is basically “whatever.” It appears he’s more interested in bro-ing down with JJ.

Looks like they’re letting Chris Harrison plan the dates now, and he sends Kaitlyn and strapping hunk-of-a-man Ben Z. out on a date in a locked room. Oh it’s like a Real Escape Game! I did one of those a few weeks back with a group of friends and had a blast. My room was filled with cheap furniture and weird knick-knacks. This room is filled with some true horrors: birds. Kaitlyn is terrified of birds. Because she’s a human being and birds are gross. Tiny eyes. Beaks. Ick. They enter the room and it looks like something out a Saw movie, which I refuse to watch because I have a soul. It looks like a crime scene.

Kaitlyn and Ben are told they have to solve a series of clues to find a code to get out of the room. My Escape Room had books and a dictionary and a wall cipher. This room has dead bugs, a man in a bed, and a bathroom covered in snakes. I was more grossed out about the dirty toilet than the snakes, but to each his own. Somehow they manage to make out in the room. My lady bits would all be crawling back into my body. With 5 minutes left before they are ‘gassed’ to death, they finally figure out that the code is ROSES. Clever.

Later that evening they curl up on the couch in Kaitlyn’s ‘house’ and order pizza and Ben talks about the day his mom died and reveals he didn’t cry that day and hasn’t cried since. I like Ben Z. I hope he’s the guy Kaitlyn allegedly bangs before we even get to Fantasy Suite week which apparently happens (unprecedented for The Bachelorette, I believe). That’s what the internets are saying, anyways.

The final group date of the week is for Jonathan, Ben H. (hi did you get hotter?), Joshua, Ryan, Jared, and practically-invisible Tanner. This date may be more horrifying than the dead bugs and bloody walls deal, as it involves teaching sex education to a class of elementary school kiddies. Jared practices a cute rap about hairy balls and Joshua tries to figure out tampons and turns 18 shades of red trying to explain periods. Ryan B. addresses the importance of the clitoris (true story) and Jonathan explains the ‘4 bases.’ Thanks god we learn through Kaitlyn that these are a bunch of child actors. That does nothing to eliminate the embarrassment of this situation, but it is funny as fuck. Adorable Ben H. talks about love and the “sperm’s long journey.” He earns major brownie points with Kaitlyn for incorporating the ‘Bachelorette journey’ into his speech. I would run at Ben H. Hard.

Back at the Penis Pad, JJ and Clint’s bromance is taking centre stage. Clint bored the crap out of me last week and now I’m just over it. They like hanging out in the hot tub and secluding themselves from the rest of the house. They also bond over their mutual love of turtles. And maybe Clint is in love with JJ.

On the evening portion of their group date, Joshua reveals that he had his first kiss in college. Gotta love a late bloomer! Kaitlyn is worried that things are moving too slow with him. Ben H. has quickly become my new favourite and maybe Kaitlyn’s too. He talks about spending time with a children’s non-profit in Honduras. They dance on a rooftop and Ben dips her (his “special move”). He also points out the Die Hard tower, which to me is better and more romantic than the dancing.

Kaitlyn brings Jared back to her room and she finds him “charming” and “comfortable with his sexuality.” They also dance. It’s not enough to earn him the date rose though. That, fairly, goes to Ben H.

“I’d like to see four or five guys get whacked tonight,” brings us to the pre-rose ceremony COCKtail party. Kaitlyn addresses the men and mentions that she’s heard of “some friction” in the house. Clint confesses in his private on-camera interview that he wants to stick around…for JJ. He actually says he doesn’t really have feelings for Kaitlyn but he wants to pursue his whatever it is with JJ. Clint pulls Kaitlyn aside right off the bat and tells Kaitlyn that his balls got “lodged up” inside of him during the sumo date and that’s why he didn’t “have the balls” to talk to her during the evening portion of that group date. Kaitlyn accepts this explanation and is “really glad” they’re having this conversation because she “totally sees herself” with him. Oh honey no. Total douche alert. “Villain’s gotta vill,” gets tossed around by JJ and Clint, and unfortunately I can’t un-hear that. There isn’t enough wine in the world. They seem to revel in their villain-ness.

Joshua lays out the JJ/Clint dynamic (where Justin only talked about it without naming names) but Kaitlyn only seems to focus on the Clint aspect, unfortunately. She asks to speak to Clint privately and her voiceover names Clint one of the biggest douches in Bachelorette history.

That’s how we end things this week. Next week promises more drama with the arrival of Nick V. from Andi’s season. Can’t wait.